[clitty]

Its been about 3 months since my last post. I’ll try to keep this short as I’ve got a lot on my plate.
Legally, nothing has changed – paper work for custody filed and done, she agreed to my terms months earlier and no desire to change. Her legal issue continues for another few months of her own doing.

I had started dating soon after my last post. She had continue seeing the POSOM (Piece Of Shit Other Man) since I kicked her out and she had to live with relatives. They were unhappy about what she had done/continued to do and POSOM wasn’t welcomed or not allowed in their homes, depending on who.

I continued working out, getting therapy, reading books on infidelity and other self-help books. I meet a nice woman, slightly older than my EX and started dating regularly. She’s a bit kinky, dances very well and we enjoy talking. But all things considering, we know that I am not good for a serious relationship – so I was upfront with my personal issues so nobody gets hurt. Many other women (21~40) that know me from the club scenes are upset with the situation but also want to jump my bones since I am available. So why not, right?
I do as good as I can, but I did have break downs in clubs, luckily friends supported me and helped me feel better. I reduced my drinking quite a lot because of depression and that Doc’s have put me on anti-mood-swing meds to keep me stable and reduce my anxiety attacks which we’re daily and very painful. (I never had one in my life) I’m talking about head exploding, heart trying to rip itself out of my chest painful. Instead of a typical BP of 125/90, I was hitting 150’s, sometimes I was 170~180s/110+. The pain was worse than anything else I or you can imagine, worse than breaking bones.

We started co-parenting, which SUCKS big time. Developed major issues with her having my son interact with the POSOM. We either didn’t talk much or was at each other's throats. I had arranged for us to see a Marriage consular before the shit hit the fan, so I got her to go to a few session so we could WORK on getting past our anger and communicate the for sake of our son. Ie: be on generally good terms with each other. But things got heated and she didn’t show up anymore, but I continued as the Doc switch gears to help me heal and move on.