[KarlMalone]

Report of the Cal-Berkley streak by the school paper.

Bare asses and anxious expressions: naked run 2k16
dailycal.org/2016/05/06/bare-asses-and-fresh-faces-the-naked-run-2k16/

It was like sitting in a restaurant waiting for your food to come out. You’ve been waiting for 20 minutes, you’re unbelievably hungry for what you’re about to receive and every clothed person that comes through the Moffitt entrance teases your impatience. The noise of the crowd escalated around 8:50 p.m. from an antsy, low buzz to an irritable uproar as the crowd grew increasingly restless. But, when that first wave of runners finally burst through the hallway, we exploded into cheers and all previous annoyance was forgotten.

So they ran and they ran, until they couldn’t run anymore, which was around 30 seconds later because the hallways became so clogged up with naked and clothed students alike that the procession came to a standstill for around 15 minutes. So there we all were, standing ass-to-crotch, glancing around trying to look anywhere but the penis gently swinging beside our left hand. This wasn’t so much a naked run as a naked meet-and-greet. The luster and magic of the previous 30 seconds faded fairly quickly as the runners realized just how many cameras were flashing, documenting their bits on Snapchat and Instagram. (To be clear, the Daily Cal understands our part in the documentation of the event, but we made sure to preserve the anonymity of the runners in our efforts to provide coverage of campus events). Instead of feeling like the liberating exercise it is, the run began to seem like a spectacle, solely for the enjoyment of the onlookers — the runners like zoo animals trapped on the winding staircase of Main Stacks. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide and nothing to cover themselves with.

We spent the next 15 minutes of our short, short lives in a sweaty, highly uncomfortable waiting period, silently praying that the universe would deliver us from this moist nightmare. And it did, to the wishful cries of “take off your clothes.” And as we chanted, we watched the naked runners go, presumably to hit the books themselves.