Originally Posted by clitty
Update:
I had filed papers for full custody and divorce on Jan 13th. She got served, and by chance of an error - I happened to be close enough to watch. It was done at work as she wasn't home. She wasn't pissed, she was very upset.
I had no more communications from her for almost a week. She posted something in public, I replied.
We talked a bit.
We talked a bit more. We said we didn't hate each other.
She was angry at me and fucked up. Went overboard. But I've been going to meetings, learning about drinking addictions and her medication interactions. So I was researching and knew she was in trouble, dangerously so.
I said "I forgive you".
She said "How? I'm a monster, I destroyed our home, our family. I fucked you over".
I said "We had problems, cracks we didn't see. But now that we saw them - we knew they were fixable, right?"
She : "Yes, they were".
I said "then, lets not continue this path. For ourselves and child - lets repair relationship. Since we love each other".
Yes, guys - My love for her DID NOT go down since we meet.
So we talked for five hours. She opened up about everything. She canceled her lawyer plans. Quit her job. I helped moved her things out while the guy was at work, and moved her across town to her parents since she can't stay in my home (court orders) and she needed safety from bad elements. This happened yesterday.
She hadn't been drinking for a few days and her head was clearing and was seeing that she has been in a fantasy. A boy that drank more than her, every day, every night. Passing out in public, passing out at home. Nothing but drinking and drugs. She isn't into illicit drugs.
We're going to court of course, but as allies - not enemies. We already have our agreements ready for the judge. We're going to counseling, we're going to recover. She's already going to AA.
We have rebuilding to do, and we want to do it.
Even our friends - those we have "played with" - support and want us to get back together.
We are going to work on each other. As far as kinky stuff with others - we have to talk about that. We had mixed our signals on that in bad ways we were not aware of. We like doing some of the things we did, some we did not. But all that is on hold. Its just about us and only us.
Do we want to go to kink parties, hell yes. Will we play with others, not anytime soon if at all. We'll still hang our with our kinky friends - they are OUR friends still.
We do love each other very very much. She is not an object, never was - but she is my other half.
Even when I was having sex with other women, while fun - my mind was on my wife anyway. Not guilty thinking - just that I she was on my mind.
I'll update you guys if you want. And only if she is cool with it, I'll share future stories.
Thanks.
PS: I love her with all my heart.
It's been shattered, but I feel great about the journey we are willing to do for each other.
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