[clitty]

Christmas was bad... I've been in a bad place.
Since we are "separated" and she is living in a guy's place until she gets her own.
I went out to a FWB (my wife knows I've had sex with her recently) as she had nothing to do anyway, and we drank, talked with plans for fucking to "feel better". I had a meltdown and was no way going to get an erection in my condition. I haven't been this drunk in years, not this way - since years before meeting my wife.

I'm glad I didn't have sex, I think mentally it would have fucked with my head.
The friend was there for me, cuddled me and help me out of my dark place and of course did NOT let me drive. I stayed the night.

We had a big family get together with all the kids and such. Only a 4-5 people knew we had separated. But a member visiting from across the country got wind of it... and I saw her turn into a bear onto my wife. I am the "Step husband" to this family gathering, which is my main family in all reality. "What do you mean separated?!" She asked me a few questions and I started crumbling. But we kept our distances for almost 2 hours. My nerves were shot and I'm about to leave soon... when my wife gets my attention to talk. We opened up, we cry, we don't want to break up.

We both failed each other in communication, our marriage has been in trouble for over a year. The situation blew up in our face (I'm not interested in getting into it), we both did things to each other that could have been avoided. This happens to pretty much all couples, its a make or break situation. For the most part, we know we can fix things and we want to.

One aspect of kinky sex life style is that she choose to do things because she loves me so much.
I told her, there is NOTHING that is required of her to do "for me" in such a way that causes her internal grief.
Yes, she likes to be tied up, flogged and other things which are her ideas, others not so much - but she did them to prove her love to me. I told her, she **ALWAYS** has the right to say "no". She is my equal and we are supposed to support each other.

I stayed for another 5 hours, we enjoyed each others company and that with the rest of the family.

We have lots to repair.
We're a kinky crazy couple. What do we do in the future? I don't know until we get to that bullet point on our repair list. Working on each other is what's needed.