The Amazing Spiderette #5: Ruin Patrol
(Deep Breath) Welcome back from an extended leave of absence, True Believers! The dark Doctor von Ruin had hijacked an experiment being attended by three of the foremost physicists in New York, Doctors Courtney Connors, Reba Richards, and Sexta Sexsmith. While hot on the trail of the mysterious costumed bankrobber Electra, Polly Porter (Secretly the Amazing Spiderette) and her boss D. Danna Dameson were caught along with with the researching doctors in a devious trap to humiliate Dr. Richards, also known as Dr. Impossible, the head of the Impossible 4. When last we left off, Dr. Impossible and Polly Parker had just rescued themselves and the staff of the university from being stripped by the convoluted and brilliant plan of the ingeniously evil Victoria von Ruin!
Dr. Impossible leap-frogged over a cowering Ruin guard and through the crumbling door as the expanding forcefield led the way, pushing past a lacrosse player who was sheepishly holding his net in front of himself.
"Floor 5, Doc! Administration!" Polly shouted as she ran off down a side hallway. "I'll get help."
Dr. Impossible shook her head. Porter was a good woman, but she had clearly had enough. There was a difference between being heroic and being a heroine. The assistant had saved the day, Reba couldn't blame her for cutting and running. The young woman had barely kept her underwear, though Polly had certainly more than Reba herself. Undergarments never agreed with Dr. Impossible's impossibly stretch elastic form. Instead, she had invented special paste-on fabric patches that were held on by space-age Impossible adhesives. Her bare essentials were covered, but she knew her superpasties were already weakened from a close call with von Ruin's matter-repelling/destroying field. She tightened the waist tie on the labcoat and ran off through the building. In front of her, the force wall seemed to be growing in power - melting everything in it's path, destroying doors and stripping the paint off the walls. She saw an elevator door that had been blown out and ran to it's edge.
Stretching up and into the shaft, she grabbed hold of the fifth floor's door. Slipping her fingers inside the closed doors, she pulled herself up and pried open the doors. She had to stop that fiend!
"Richards! What are you doing?!" cried von Ruin over the PA. "Don't come to Administration!"
"Ha! Begging will do you no good, Victoria!"
As Reba came around a corner marked Administration, she saw a Ruin Bot, one of the egotistically-named robotic servants of Victoria, come marching down the hall toward her. The metal monstrosity was 8 feet tall and dressed in futuristic metallic bustier and metal skirts. Its arms were outstretched, metal pincers rhythmically clinking in time with its footsteps. On the stomach was a television screen with the cowled face of Victoria von Ruin. Her wild eyes peered out behind a steely mask. No grin could be seen behind the mask, but it was apparent that she was pleased with herself.
"Did you really think I hadn't foreseen every outcome, Richards? I can just as easily broadcast from the cameras on my Ruin Bot as she strips you down and brings you kneeling before me!"
Reba thought quickly and looked at the robot. The female-formed metal giant could easily take her lab coat (and her Impossible underwear!) if they managed to close the distance. Victoria was so obsessed with humiliation...could Dr. Impossible hope? She did. Stretching her arm out, she flipped up the back of the skirt of the robot. It emitted a metallic squeal and tried to push its skirt down.
Dr. Impossible laughed to herself. Evil was so predictable. Reba tugged at the front of the metal skirt. And the robot beeped in frustration as it grabbed the waist with a metal pincer.
"STOP TRYING TO STRIP MY EVIL SERVANT!"
"Maybe you shouldn't bedeck a sentient robot like a street-walking harlot, Victoria!"
Reba tried pulling at the back of the bot's skirt, stopping it in its tracks.
"STOP BLAMING HOW THE ROBOT IS DRESSED FOR YOUR PERVERSITY. I AM WARNING YOU, RICHARDS."
She snaked her other arm around and grabbed the clanking metal bustier from the evil machine whipped it off the robot. The robot squealed and tried to clutch the shiny garment but it was already skittering across the hall, whipped by the elastic strength of the good Doctor. Reba blinked in confusion as she looked at the nervously covering robot. Why had Victoria highlighted the machine's large breasts with silver inlaid tan lines and brass nipples?
"Why on Earth would you give a robot nipples?!"
"Have you no appreciation for aesthetics, you plebeian?"
"It's not as if there are baby Ruin Bots to feed..."
"Ruin Bot! Suspend embarrassment protocol on breast assets! Attack!" The bot swung its arms straight in front of it and began marching toward Dr. Impossible. As Reba tried to attack its skirt again, it clamped it's pincer around her arm and rapidly spun it like an egg whisk! This incapacitated Reba's hand and stretched her arm out as it was rapidly spooled onto the robot's spinning hand. Her stretchiness could only go so far, though. And as she reached her limit, she began to get reeled in by the topless metal monster.
"Ah! Fiend!" Doctor Impossible cried as she was drawn into the grasp of the robot. It tried to grab at the coat as Richards avoided it. At last, the sleeve of it began to reel onto the robot's arm. "This is it!" Reba thought, her left hand held tightly around her lab coat while her right was pulling her toward her...Ruin!
"YOU SEE RICHARDS?! THAT IS WHY YOU PUT NIPPLES ON A ROBOT. GENIUS. WHY I REMEMBER BACK IN MY OWN PRIVATE COUNTRY..." A camera flash went off in the hallway. "...WHAT?!"
"Sorry, Porter said there would be villain tits. But all I see is a robot with nipples." Spiderette kicked out a vent shaft and bounced off of the robot's head before landing on the ground with her palms between her ankles.
"SPIDERETTE!" cried Victoria over the television screen. "Ruin Bot! Squash that bug!" Jerking Reba with it, the Robot loomed over Spiderette. The bot raised it's free pincer and took a swipe at the hero.
"Not gonna happen, Vicky!" Spiderette leapt over the giant machine. She landed softly behind it and flipped its skirt up. It clanked out another squeal as it's metal rear was exposed. Its gold lame underwear shimmered and highlighted the exquisite crastmanship of its curves.
"Nice panties, Rosie!" Spiderette guffawed out as she laid a powerful swipe on its behind. The bot was furiously trying to keep the front of its skirt down as it swung around kicking at Spiderette. The hero flipped over the flailing robot as Richards was spun around, the doctor's nearly-nude form nearly falling out of her labcoat.
The robot was about to swing a metalic stiletto down on Spiderette when its optic feed was suddenly obscured by a webby splat. It rapidly unspun the claw that was holding Reba and let go of its skirt to claw at the webbing on its camera.
"Doc! Now's your chance!" Reba didn't need to be told twice. Whipping her already stretched limb, she grabbed at the metal skirting and pulled with all her elastic strength. The skirt's riveting popped and clanged before disintegrating and falling to the floor. As it pulled the webbing from its camera and looked down in self assessment, it saw that all it wore was a tiny set of lame bikini briefs.
"Ruin Bot, suspen-" She was cut off as the robot squealed and clenched its claws over its underwear. Spiderette jumped between the legs of the robot, grabbed at the underwear and yanked them down to the floor and out from under the robots feet, tripping it. It landed hard, splayed out on the ground. As naked as any robotic death machine could be. In the same brass as its nipples was a well-sculpted slit that Spiderette sincerely hoped was not for practical use. It was actually topped by a tuft of what appeared to be steel wool. Victoria was screaming incohenrently, trying to regain control of her minion over its metallic whines. It did a very poor job of covering itself as it righted itself and made a break for it.
"Catch, Doc. They're clean, at least." Spiderette sling-shotted the metal undies to Richards, who caught them and slipped them on without breaking her elastic stride down the hallway.
"Thank you and thank god you got here so quickly. I don't think I could have handled the Ruin Bot in my... compromised position. But are you really sure you want to take on Victoria? She's clearly madder than ever if that robot was any indicator."
"No problem, Dr. Impossible. von Ruin might be your nemesis, but to me she's just another weirdo who spends a lot of time making metal vaginas. The exact kind of weirdo that needs a lesson."
They made quick work of the guards that were waiting outside the administration suite and in a moment, both were kicking down office doors, looking for Victoria.
Reba found her in the Dean of sciences office, in a room full of television cameras. In her flowing green cape and steel armor, she cut a very different figure than the heroes who had come to stop her. Spiderette's latex jump suit was skin tight and looked flimsy in the harsh office lighting, and Dr. Impossible was wearing a handful of pasted on undergarments, pilfered robot panties and a lab coat. The Dean herself was lying across her own desk, bound at hand and foot, wearing lingerie that highlighted her lithe form. She would have screamed, but her mouth was stuffed with her own stockings.
"RICHARDS! SO GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US. MEET DEAN MAISLY." Victoria grabbed the thin woman by her hair and pulled her to her feet.
"MM-PMPH!" said the Dean.
"Victoria, let her go. This is between you-"
"I SEE YOU'VE BROUGHT A FRIEND, TOO." Victoria turned up the mic gain on her mask, ignoring the ultimatum. "I THOUGHT WE MIGHT PLAY A GAME AT THIS LITTLE SOIREE." Victoria fingered a device on her wrist and her metallic gloved hands began to crackle green with power arcane. Von Ruin had mastered dark science which controlled the unknowable forces of mystic resonance in the universe. Dr. Impossible knew that if that green energy was to touch her clothes, it would not be good. The hero tried to circle to the right, but Victoria never brought her eyes away from Reba.
"You know that you got a real mail order bride Dr. Frankenstein vibe?" Spiderette quipped as she tried to gauge the distance to Von Ruin. She couldn't clear it reliably without risking Von Ruin countering with some BS gadget or magic nonsense. But she could buy time for the Doc and maybe distract Von Crazypants.
"YOU WOUND ME, SPIDERETTE. YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A BRILLIANT WOMAN GIFTED AT TAKING WOMEN'S CLOTHES, THOUGH NO WHERE NEAR MY INTELLIGENCE.
"Uh, Thanks, Von Jerkin."
"I WILL GIVE MYSELF UP TO YOU. RIGHT NOW. IF YOU STRIP REBA RICHARDS FOR THE TELEVISION CAMERAS. YOU CAN THEN TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES AND PARADE ME DOWN MADISON AVENUE IF YOU LIKE."
Spiderette knew what she had to do. She launched a stream of web at the camera behind Von Ruin and pulled hard, slamming the villain in the back. Von Ruin stumbled forward into Dean Maisly, knocking into her with a gloved hand. Instantly, the Dean was engulfed in green lightning. Her white lingerie began to smoke and singe around the edges. She fell to the ground as the straps on her bra and lacy underwear thinned and let go. She covered as she scrambled to crawl out of the cameras' field of view. As the stockings finally dissolved from her lips, she squealed. Quickly, the two helping hands of Doctor Impossible were there to assist covering as she bolted from the room.
Spiderette meanwhile had vaulted through the air and behind Victoria before the armored villain could recover. She grabbed onto a crackling green glove tightly and brought it roughly behind Victoria's back. Polly too, was engulfed in that green lightning, though she seemed outwardly unaffected. Polly felt something shift as she did so. A warm sensation engulfed her shoulders, breasts and crotch. Her mask prevented her from betraying her surprise but she felt very strange indeed.
A second later, her breasts eased lower under her costume. It was like the bra she had grabbed from her locker had just...Oh God thought Polly. Dr. Ruin's stupid magic had burned her underwear right off her.
"HA, I AM IMPRESSED SPIDERETTE. I SEE YOU KNOW ENOUGH MAGIC THAT MY GLOVES ONLY DISSOLVE THE FABRIC OF THOSE I TOUCH. YOUR SUIT IS A POLYMER AND QUITE IMMUNE. BUT I CAN ONLY ASSUME YOUR UNDERWEAR IS NO LONGER WITH US."
"Are you kidding? I don't wear underwear. My first idea for a name was Spider Commando. Does this mean I win and we can just go straight to the part where I strip you down on Madison Avenue?" Polly was mortified at the things she was saying on camera, but she couldn't let the villain think she had the upper hand.
"HAHAHA. YOU'RE MY KIND OF SCUM, SPIDERETTE. BUT RICHARDS MUST PAY. IF YOU ARE GOING TO CHEAT, I CAN JUST BLEW UP THIS BUILDING...WITH NO SURVIVORS."
"Okay, that was way too many geek references in one rant. What did Doctor Impossible ever do to you?"
"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" *
(*Look Out For VON RUIN #1: Portrait of a Young Mad Scientist in 2016, True Believers!)
"Spiderette!" called Reba.
"Not right now, Doc. I'm trying to figure out if this fruitcake can blow up a building with no clothes and two broken hands." Spiderette grabbed Victoria's other glove and squeezed it threateningly.
"We can't risk it, or we'd be no worse than her. I'm a woman of science. What do I care about modesty."
"APPARENTLY A LOT. YOU STOLE MY RUIN BOT'S RUIN PANTIES." Spiderette resisted the urge to smack Von Ruin for thinking it was cool to add Ruin to everything.
"You are serious, Doc? You'd take one for the good guys?"
"If it means putting Von Ruin where she belongs."
"Yeah. Naked, with the Rockefeller Tree shoved up her..." Spiderette began
"In JAIL, Spiderette. In Jail." Reba cut her off.
"It's your villain, you make the call how we beat her." Spiderette let go of Von Ruin and thwip thwip thwip went her web shooter.
First went the lab coat from Dr. Impossible. Over her breasts were the crooked 4 symbols of the Impossible Four, the super group Richards lead. She drew her arms up to cover her modest breasts and then thought better of it. Next, the gold lame Ruin Panties launched off of her and landed on the television camera nearest Von Ruin.
Reba was blushing furiously and could not seem to decide which leg she wanted in front of the other. In between her pale thin thighs was a threadbare patch of blue fabric. It made sense that someone so stretchy could only use pasties as underwear, but it was still strange to see one of the most brilliant and courageous women in the world covered by what looked like three jacket patches.
Spiderette inclined her head one last time. Reba nodded, always the stoic. All at once, the respected Dr. Impossible had her impossible underwear ripped from her body. Her body wanted to stay with the garments and elastically pulled away from her almost 6 ft. before ripping free from the fabric. Reba's face turned a whole new shade of red and she winced at the spirit gum being pulled from sensitive areas. She was thin in that way of people who never take the stairs and spend all day in labs. Tall, with a clean shaven lower half and light pink nipples that poked boisterously from a modest chest. She wrapped her hands over her sex, leaving her breasts exposed.
"YES, LIVE IN SHAME, RICHARDS!" said the villain, balling her fists below her chin. "MY SPIDEREY CHARIOT OF REVENGE HAS-GAH!" Spiderette turned on Von Ruin and grabbed her by the wrists again.
"UH-OH."
Spiderette smacked Victoria in the face with her own crackling gloves. "Stop hitting yourself."
Von Ruin's cloak began to dissolve. "GAH, GET O-"
"Stop stripping yourself!" Spiderette held the magic gloves against the villain's armor, enveloping her in green lightning and flame. Buckles, laces, and straps holding the metallic armor on the villain began to crackle and singe. Each second, Von Ruin's armor sagged and dropped a bit more.
Finally, the cowl sloughed, revealing her curly blonde Slavic hair. The breastplate dropped away, letting the world see Von Ruin's buxom form in a green corset that matched her cloak. It began to really match her cloak as it too started burning away. Her cuisse and greaves dropped away, revealing a tiny green thong. Spiderette turned her around to face the cameras directly.
"And this is what happens to evil in my town!"
As the corset and thong fell away, Spiderette sensed something was wrong. Her spiderey senses were flipping out. All she heard was Victoria von Ruin laughing behind her metallic mask.
"HAHAHAHA DID YOU REALLY THING YOU WOULD WIN, YOU PERVERTED INSECT?!" Spiderette spun the naked villain around just Von Ruin's mask dropped away. Underneath it was circuitry and two animatronic eyes. and Spiderette looked down in shock at the large round breasts with...brass nipples. This was just a Ruin Bot made to look like Victoria! The Ruin Bot smacked Spiderette away, now no longer pretending to be weak out of pretense.
The bot's stomach flipped and a screen with a count down timer appeared on it 10... "Doc! We need to get it out of here! Slingshot!"
9...8...
Reba Richards' eyes narrowed and she was all business. The robot ran at Spiderette and tried to grab her close. Dr. Impossible snaked her legs into the fire door railing and began twisting herself to increase her tension. Spiderette meanwhile webbed the feet of the robot to the ground.
7...6...
Richards grabbed a chair rail across the room and her twisted body was tight with potential energy. Spiderette jumped behind her and pulled her up and behind the Ruin Bot.
5...4...
Spiderette let go of Richards and Richards released from the railing, flying into the Ruin Bot and grabbing hold of it, carrying it up and through the high windows of the Dean's office.
3...2...
It flew out of Richards hands and began beeping madly. 300 ft. over the Hudson river, the naked Ruin Bot became Ruin Fireworks.
_________________________________________________
The next day, Polly opened the newspaper and was hardly surprised.
SPIDERETTE AND FOREIGN TERRORIST STRIP BELOVED HERO
Dr. Impossible seems to have been brainwashed by the monstrous Spiderette to believe the fiend was trying to help. Has Spiderette developed new powers of mental manipulation? Is anyone safe?
Slightly below the headline was something about the third bank robbery this week by a woman in a yellow and green costume. "Dammit, I never got a chance to ask anyone about Electra. And I don't think anyone at Columbia is going to be happy to take a call from Spiderette right now. Guess I'm going to just have to go in solo."
NEXT ISSUE: THE DEFEAT OF SPIDERETTE. Is the title accurate or just a reference to Spider-Man #9?! FIND OUT IN 2016, TRUE BELIEVERS!
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