[Fox Mulder]

1.On a scout mission in advance of their fleet of Star Battle Cruisers, Captain Athena and Sergeant Sela of the Venusian army were about to order the obliteration of the Earth...but they decided that our flowers were kinda pretty. The Earth is safe...for now.
2. As the coastguard approached, despite spending weeks lost at sea , there was very little enthusiasm to get rescued. Blame it on beer.
3. Angie could take her Johnny Depp/ Captain Sparrow fetish a little too far sometimes.
4. Poor girl on the bench...she thinks we were taking a picture of HER.
5. Dave told his friends that all he wanted for Christmas was a sandwich. He meant ham and cheese.
6. Kathy decided to give her obnoxious housemate a very special surprise Christmas gift...
7. Spend Christmas fishing in Florida...you might catch a big one!
8. Ever wake up in the morning with a peculiar taste in your mouth?
9. "Hello 911? Can you send an ambulance? I have a tiny reindeer...uh... stuck up my ass..."
10. Merry Christmas to all you goofy wankers here at OCC!