Quote:
Originally Posted by panhead
Not to hijack the thread into a self help diatribe but my spouse has refused for 2 years to get any counseling, therapy or medication to deal with severe depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder and alcoholism. I have begged her to get help but she continues to downward spiral even though I have tried to get her the help and care she needs.
She refuses marriage counseling as well so I guess I have just given up and we are planning our parting of ways...so please don't judge me.... a person can only take so much.
And on a lighter note I saw boobies
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Oh dear, I fear I'm going to hijack it further when I ask did the words "in sickness as in health" play any part of your marriage vows? On the one hand you tell us your wife is suffering from a plethora of mental illnesses and you want to walk away and leave her to deal with them on her own while adding the stress and strain of a failed relationship to it.
Let's try this one, for example. My wife was innocently involved in a terrorist attack and was blown up. Her upper body suffered severe burns and she is lamed below the waist. She can't have sex. So I'm going to walk away and find myself something sexier and prettier. If that were true, I'd hope you'd all be calling me a right bastard. Fortunately its not true and my wife is healthy and can't wait until we get back together in late December.
Do you take my point. Why are we (collective we for the western civilizations) so unwilling to stick with and try to understand and help people with mental disease, where we go the extra mile and more for people with physical illnesses.
For my sins I do a lot of sponsored walking. I find that with the same effort, I can raise much more money for Breast Cancer Research than I can for a Mental Health Charity. Being depressed in not the same as having a sulk. You can't control the one, the other you can get over with a good kick up the backside. But we tend to conflate the two. Me too. And I have studied these things. And maniac-depression seems to run in my side of the family. I may be a mild case myself.
Anyway, you need help to help your wife. You need to seek advice from your doctor, from your local anti-depression charity, from marriage-guidance councillors who will see one half of a partnership under your circumstances. These folks may be better at getting your wife to accept help than you are. Let's face it, you have nothing to lose. And you need friends and her friends to help you and her. And you need the patience of Job.
Time to get off my soap box. Good luck.