First, I want to clarify & correct a few tidbits. You know how it is, you remember later what you forgot to include – there is so much more in life than what we can put into words. For those who haven’t read the first of this tread (it kind of emotional with a few nude pics) or other posts. I’m 46 with a 31yr old wife, she’s about 103lbs today and looks pretty much the same when she was 25.
Part 1+ correction: Early on when we were having a private talk about the messages and I was waiting for proof of the deleted conversation. My wife wanted invoked the monogamous rule. Which is that if we feel that our relationship is in danger, we would stop playing with others. I had countered that the situation has nothing to do with sex. Even thou I only had sex with one other woman this year, she’s had sex with 9 different men and 2 women, and NO – its not a competition!
Then when she had the blow up at the bar with me (while a few people nearby are “not” paying attention) – she talks about our lifestyle and that its bullshit for me to have issues when I didn’t go along with the monogamous rule. This is part of her anger and her commitment to me that she offered on the table the weeks before.
Also, the young man in question from previous update is not 23yrs old.
Part two is important. Part 3 is funny, trust me.
And now return to our feature presentation “Share of the Wife – Challenges”.
I left her work that morning, shaken. I send her a text about “lets have a civil talk”, her response wasn’t uplifting. She was sober, mad and busy at work. I went home and got some sleep for a few hours. The mark on her neck barely registered, it could also be an injury or I’m saw something incorrectly, as I had more pressing concerns and was exhausted, I went home and slept as well as I could.
I wake up after 12pm, eat and start working online. I see that John is ON facebook, its easier to type on a computer than a smartphone, so I open a chat window with him since they’ve done a lot of talking as friends, more so than sex. I tell him that I assume he’s talked to my wife about the fight and that she won’t walk to me.
John responds “~all I know is that you left her at a bar and she stayed at XYZ” (actual FB message quote).
I reply with what actually happened, he says “Oh”. He knows she was mad at me about my emotions and behavior, and has been afraid to talk to me about our problems. We talk online for about 10 minutes, where I told him I wasn’t upset about the sex and that I am aware of some problems, but not the extent of how much she has been hurting. John tells me that he is no longer interested in sex-play with my wife, as he wants the friendship with her that they have had for 5 years and not to be a home wrecker. I reply that I’m cool with him, and ask him if they have done sexual texting since. He says “yes, she’s horny. I made her angry when I laughed” – I laughed too and let him get back to work as I too had things to do.
My parents are staying at our home for a few week as it is, so I’d already told them she was drunk and went to a friends place. In our home, getting drunk is not allowed. We like our home to be a stable family environment.
So my parents don’t know any of the shit that went down and of course they don’t know my open relationship lifestyle either. Its one thing when I was dating lots of girls, but another to be dating girls while married
An hour or so later, my wife asks me to bring her some items to work, since she went directly to work from where she crashed. I meet her in the parking lot, she looks tired. I also brought the baby, as I know she missed him. She does give me a long strong hug, says she is sorry about blowing up on me and thinking I left her at a bar. I told her I’m glad she’s okay and talking to me, that she had the right to be upset. We’ll have serious talking after work and she kisses me goodbye.
Unfortunately, they were short staffed and she had to work a little later. I decided to visit her for a bit, which I do normally. Her building is next to a strip mall and I get a couple of drinks for us. There are some young guys hanging around a car and one of them is from the bar the night before, an ex-co worker. I walked up to him and we chatted, I apologize for the drama from the previous night – thanking him and his friend for taking her to their place. There were, after all other men at the bar that we don’t know who were being social with. If they were not there, I wouldn’t have left.
I’m back to my wife’s job, she sends me a text that she’s off work for a short while, in the car with John – that she was too busy to see that he was stopping by. It was a minute later I see them in his car. They have been talking for 20+ minutes. She goes back to work to get her things, I talk to John about the events.
So John, the guy who I had earlier thought was trying to hurt me a few weeks before, was talking to my wife to talk to me and other things. We said our goodbyes, had dinner – then had a sit down talk. I won’t go over the details (Already too much boring shit) – but communication, mis-communication and mis-read actions caused this bullshit. She thought I was not sexually attracted to her. She’s in severe pain and stress – that she didn’t want to add to my stress with her problems. Thus, bullshit caused this – it was a feedback loop in which we were getting at each other. While my “meeting about cheating” was bad, I didn’t want to have questions and have things simmer… that to talk about issues is HOW you save relationships. I told her never be afraid to say what problems she is having – WHEN SOBER, as I have been working on.
She brings up that she, the friends and two guys left the bar, went skinny dipping somewhere, lost the two bar guys, and crashed out at place of the people we know. We have both been there many times for social parties as they are younger with no kids. Drinking, games, movies, etc. Its not a place we talk about life-styles, etc.
So I looked at her neck more so, and said “I guess that didn’t happen at work?” She admitted to fucking the younger man, who I thought had a girlfriend relationship who lives else-ware. I brought it up before she did, I figure say something now since we’re all talking.
The one with the live-in girlfriend went to bed. Meanwhile the wife was up with Dave, and she seduced him – both of them are drunk and easy. She was honestly sorry about it. I hugged her and said I’m okay, behind honest with me is more important. I then said “well, you kind of threw out the Monogamy rule out, eh?” she laughed.
In the past week or so since during this fight and since, she has seen two doctors and has some issues going on, everything is treatable. But has been a source of many problems that we were not aware. She’s feeling better already and also know more about her health.
We would actually have SERIOUS talks about our relationship every day, when we can. And are doing very well. We are solid.
Part 3 is coming soon… I have a talk with Dave and more details about the sex. More fun than part two!