[KarlMalone]

Hmmm..


One time we went out with a bunch of people drinking all day at the pub and one girl was just a huge hot mess. Like she was big, way too drunk, and not very attractive. She told me she "wasn't a sl*t" even though she has three kids with three different guys. Anyway, she followed me to the bathroom because "the girl's room was all full" and proceeded to drop trou in front of me. Whatever. I left. Later on we somehow ended up sitting next together. I was barely paying attention to her when I felt a hand come over my crotch, and she rubbed it a little. I looked over and she just kinda smiled at me. I left. She was seriously gross. Anyway, so not the sexiest story in the world.

More recently I was at a wedding. I knew my friend's mom well and we joked around, but she was always a touchy-feely kinda person. She says "oh you have some hairs on the back of your suit jacket, I'll get them for you." She then proceeds to dust off my ass, like lingering a bit too long. It was fairly obvious I thought. She even said "I promise I wasn't trying to touch your butt!" To be honest, it did kinda turn me on!