[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. When you come home and find your wife like this at 7:45 pm...it's time to give her a long break from the kids and housework.
2. The irony is, she married the ruthless entrepreneur with the idea that he would be a good provider...and she'd lead a comfortable life.
3. His girlfriend's lost panties in his wife's hand...this was the last thing Steve remembered seeing before he woke up in the hospital.
4. "But Laura! They didn't HAVE virgin sacrifices during the Renaissance!" (Another Renaissance Faire participant who doesn't want to die)
5. Uh oh...she just realized you haven't been staring at her cell phone.
6. Sandy was so pleased! Joe had never shown any interest at all in her dog before...and now he was taking pictures! (Uh huh...)
7. Don't laugh guys...if that thing was splitting YOU open, you'd have the same painfully dismayed look on YOUR face.
8. The Dollar Shave Club has a pretty good thing going...but the Lesbian Shave Club has more TRULY satisfied customers.
9. I've been in a LOT of shopping malls in my lifetime and I've never seen anything so inviting. Have you?
10. During Prohibition, the sweet and pure Anderson sisters grew so sick and tired of listening to their preacher father's sermons about sex and alcohol...that they finally, as a team, decided to get drunk and get laid. (Great news for the Johnson brothers)