[jimmybob69]

Originally Posted by shiftyj

Second date - I'd only gotten a kiss on the first one. She was tall, marathon runner, with short red hair. We had dinner, a great date so far, then partway through the movie I started hurting down south. Somewhere below my belly button but north of my tackle. I started getting nauseous it hurt so bad, accompanied by cold sweats. I fidgeted a bit hoping if I could move just right it'd go away, then finally I told my date I needed to run to the restroom. I didn't know what was going on but it felt like I ought to be closer to a toilet. She insisted on walking out with me and she waited outside. I barely made it. Vomited everything up and nearly passed out.

The next bits I barely remember it was hurting so bad. She walked me out of the theater, got me to her car and took me to the emergency room. I think I was just curled up and groaning through most of the trip. Coherent memory picked back up in one of the emergency room 'stalls' and I was horribly embarrassed and kept telling her she didn't need to do all this. "Thanks for getting me here and I'm sorry for ruining your evening, you can go on home." She would not leave me though. Also, I have a vague memory that she helped me into the hospital gown.

Somewhere in the interminable wait I started feeling better - no longer nauseous and not hurting nearly as much. I think they might've given me something for the pain, I don't recall.

So the payoff- My date or I've told my story a dozen times and I still can't pinpoint exactly what down there is hurting. I've been to get an ultra sound, and peed in a cup (by myself thankfully). I'm on my back and the e-room doctor (female) comes in and without so much as a do-you-mind pulls my gown up and starts probing.

First she goes high, just under my rib cage then works her way down to juggling my balls in front of my date. I'm mortified. Never so embarrassed in my life. The doctor starts talking to my date like I'm not even there about the various possibilities: they've ruled out appendicitis, waiting to hear back on kidney stones and she was checking for 'testicular torsion' and pauses in her manipulating to explain what that is. . .The doc then notices my date getting red and acts puzzled - and my date finally says, "We're not married...we're just dating. . ." The doctor then gets red and lets go of me. Pulls my gown back down, clears her throat and continues talking just to my date.

It turned out to be kidney stones. . .and we've been married 12 years.

THAT is a great story that you will hopefully tell to your grandchildren