I've given my advice and support here... and oddly found my self at odds.
At this very moment, she is with another man. I agreed that she could have sex with him - but I was under the impression that she would be home in bed. They went out to a club, drinking and such. She wore a very sexy outfit... a sheer dress with patterns; with hot-colored bra and thong... clearly visible. The panties are also pattern and slightly sheer and without the dress on, you could see her pubes. She wore this to a club with hundreds of people.
Example photo (Its not her, but its pretty much the same dress - just the black part) I wish I took some photos before she left.
I couldn't make it out to the club, because of work and home issues. Besides I've gone out while she stayed at home a few times... right? (But I never got laid or kissed anyone) And she has worked her ass off this week and should go out for drinks, dancing, socializing and a shag. The guy is someone we have done MFM with... whom I'm okay with, generally. I don't have any real issues.
Anyway - after leaving the club - she went to his place to have sex and crash. (Which I agreed to - in part)
She is drunk, but not wasted... and I don't want to shit on her night over a mix-up... and she isn't understanding what I am asking.
I wanted his phone number so I can call if there is an emg. situation and/or so I can make sure she is okay - if she doesn't answer her phone (passed out / sleeping it off). I'm upset that I don't know when she will be home in the morning. I know her when she's drunk - and much of the error is mine. But I think we both should have been clear of expectations, not assumptions. At 3am - this is not the time to argue and drama.
I also asked for photo - see how she is. Nothing. (Drunk)
I didn't think about it until now (much later) - that I should have demanded she turn the phone over to him in voice call to explain the phone # (with a speaker phone). When he drops her off - I think I will have a word with him... not a fight or heated discussion - but that he MUST check with me first.
This whole discussion between us, was using text messaging.
My wife has watched me had sex with other women. We've always been together in the same party whenever we had sex with others. This is a first for *US* - in that I'm not there... and to be honest, I'm not quite digging it. Jealousy? Nope. I love her, she loves me... we're together. My last text to her was "take pics with your phone. Have lots of orgasms, have fun". No return response... which I'm not thrilled by that either / but when she's drunk - she's not chatty on texting anyway.
I'm not sure she gets it. The friend, is just a friend who gets to fuck my woman. That woman is my wife, my love, mother to our kids. Her safety and well being is high on my list and not knowing if they made it to his place and what time she's coming back is bullshit!
First time at anything, there's going to be mess-ups. And that is what I'm working out. If this became a usual-thing; of no communications - then there are serious problems. I'm also not a sub or anything like that.
Other people here have more experience that I / we. I say that because I've been into open relationships for 10+ years - but never been married before. She - originally thought she'd never do such things - but I've shown her poly and swinging - that communication and trust are key to making those work. She likes showing her beautiful naked body to others - or be sexy. And I do like watching her have sex with other men and women (while I'm having fun with someone else).
My wife was so sexy tonight, and I didn't get to share in that. Some people at the club were asking her "where is your husband"? Which I guess looked odd considering how much flesh she was showing off
While this is a rant... Its a discussion to share with others who might of had these feelings / problems and to help those will in the future.
I'm not en-raged. No homicidal or violent thoughts. And with corrections - I'm cool with her having sex with him and other people.
But I want her sleeping in OUR bed.