[newbalogna]

Kimmy arrived at the station and was escorted in by the officer.
Inside, the place was sweltering hot.
“Why is it so hot in here?”
The officer shrugged. “Our AC is out, like half the town’s.”
As she was led to a room, the eyes of the station followed her. She was sat on a metal chair in front of a metal table. There was even the one way mirror thing.
“Someone will be with you shortly” the officer said, as he left the room.
She waited, slowly roasting in her woolen blanket. She wanted to take it off, but she was worried the way everyone stared at her, she may have a quiet audience on the other side of the one-way mirror. But as 10 minutes stretched to 20, the sweat was pouring from her, and the wool becoming rather itchy.
She finally decided to turn away from the mirror, and open up the blanket. She fanned the blanket about some. The air certainly wasn’t cool, but it was nice letting all that moisture out.
That’s when she noticed the camera right in front of her, pointing at her with an accusatory red recording light.
She swore and covered up again, sitting down.
The relief she got from opening her blanket evaporated quickly, and once again she was pouring sweat.
Another officer entered the room.
“I’m so sorry to have kept you, I was just going over the details. There certainly were numerous phone calls. The officer mentioned there may be some extenuating circumstances, so I’d like to hear them. So let me tell you how this works: I’m going to write down everything you say, maybe interrupting you if I need some more information. At the end, I’m going to give you everything to review, while I go and check any facts of the story. If everything looks as accidental as it sounds, we’ll just have you sign what you’ve reviewed as your official statement. Do you have any questions for me before you begin?”
Kimmy shook her head.
“OK then, let’s begin with …”
Kimmy relayed her tale of woe, interrupted with questions like “Did you get the lifeguard’s name”, and “How many boys were there”. After a very tedious review of the details, the officer handed her the notepad he’d been writing on. “I want you to review this, I need to make some phone calls to verify whatever I can. I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.”
As the officer left, Kimmy reached for the pad. As she did, she noticed that her blanket had been falling open, and the officer had an exceptionally nice view of her cleavage through who knows how much of the interview.
Kimmy blushed as she wrapped her sweaty blanket tighter. She reviewed the information, trying not to think about how sweaty she was in this stuffy room wearing a thick woolen blanket.
The officer return after another eternity. “Ummm … two follow up questions. First … uhhh … is there any particular reason you …. Uhhh … flashed … that camera up there a few minutes ago?”
She wanted to hide under the table. “I … didn’t see it there. I am SO HOT in this room in this blanket. I was just trying to cool off.”
The officer nodded. “That’s what it looked like. And now … the harder question. You mentioned the boys under the boardwalk. Did you have … intercourse … with any of them?”
“What?” she shrieked? “Of course not! Those animals molested me!”
The officer pulled out a print out of a facebook feed. She gasped as she saw a picture of herself under the boardwalk, sprawled on top of the boy who had pulled her down. “This facebook user tagged his friend, in this picture, mentioning he ‘totally got some from this crazy naked chick.’ The problem is that the boy you seem to be … on top of … is underage.”
Kimmy’s throat went dry. Her eyes had trouble focusing on the picture. The room started spinning.
“It’s ok, it’s ok, don’t panic. This sounds like a bunch of ridiculous teens bragging, and your version of events sounds far more plausible. But the problem my commander has pointed out is that if his parents decide to file charges against you … it may be difficult for you to prove anything. And if all the other boys present a unified front, even if they’re lying, you may be in a lot of hot water.”
Kimmy put her face in her hands.
“Look, here’s what my commander recommended. He thought … if you submit to forensic evidence collection … it will corroborate your version of events. Have you showered since the … molestation?”
She shook her head.
“OK, you are free to decline evidence collection. But everything else in your story checks out. I’d hate for these young punks to ruin your life because of a series of accidents.”
He took a step back. “I’m sorry, you look like you need a drink of water …”
She nodded. “Yes please …”
“OK, I’ll get you a bottle, and you need to think about this, OK?”
The officer disappeared for a moment, and returned with a disposable bottle of water. It was cold from the fridge. She took several swigs, but her stomach was still tying in knots from what the officer said, and she couldn’t drink a lot. But she was terribly hot, so she opened her blanket a little, and poured some of the cold water down her front.
Thirty seconds later, the officer tore into the room. “What did you do?!”
She was shocked. “I .. I was hot. I was dying in here.”
“You don’t understand! Just a minute after I tell you we want you to submit to evidence collection, you are washing your body! Someone might say you are trying to destroy evidence!”
“What evidence are you talking about?”
“DNA. On your body. From the boy!”
She looked at him, stunned.
“Look, I don’t want to be heavy-handed about this, but you really need to submit to collection. IF the boy’s family decides to press charges against you, this one thing will look really REALLY bad.”
In the whirlwind of panic the resulted, Kimmy found herself being once again led through the station, on the way back out to the police cruiser. At least the AC in the car was nice, as she sat in the back seat.