[KarlMalone]

Naked manic pixie dream girl terrorizes Flagstaff, Arizona

A manic pixie dream girl named Makena Marie Haydon is in a bit of trouble this week after going on a naked rampage in Flagstaff, Arizona.

According to the Arizona Daily Sun, the fun-loving 20-year-old broke into a stranger’s house Friday afternoon, and, in an effort to give him a new lease on life, stripped naked and started jumping on the bed like some sort of beautiful toddler:

According to the police report, the victim called police around 4 p.m. Friday after a young woman he did not know ran into his apartment when someone there opened the door. The suspect ran into a bedroom, started jumping on the bed, took off all her clothes, started shouting “am I pretty?” and refused to leave.

But rather than quit his job to start a finger painting business, the man called the cops as stated above, who found she wasn’t going down without a fight:

When officers arrived, they saw the suspect standing on an exterior second-floor balcony completely naked and yelling incoherently. She put on her underwear, then launched her body into an officer who was climbing the stairs toward her.

ADVERTISEMENT

Finally police were able to subdue the adorkable snowflake, but not before she got in one last burst of self-expression:

The officer was able to catch his balance and place the suspect in handcuffs. She struggled against the officer and yelled that she loved marijuana on her way to the patrol car. Inside, she managed to slip out of her handcuffs and started destroying the interior of the vehicle.

Witnesses in the area spotted her performing similarly quirky behavior earlier that day:

The witnesses said the suspect was at a nearby residence earlier in the afternoon, but had been kicked out for yelling disruptively without provocation. She ran to a second stranger’s residence, where she used a lawn chair to smash a window in an attempt to get inside. She then hit a Jeep parked outside with the same lawn chair. After that, she ran to the victim’s apartment. When officers retrieved her clothing, they found two of her pant pockets filled with marijuana.

They didn’t find any bath salts, presumably because she’d finished those already.

The naughty nudist was arrested and charged with “indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, criminal damage, trespassing, misdemeanor marijuana possession, resisting arrest and aggravated assault of a law enforcement officer” and watching too many Zooey Deschanel movies. Next time you want to change someone’s life, Makena, I suggest you volunteer at a homeless shelter.