[five hole]

Originally Posted by xxxxenophile

There are a lot of comments here, some to take on board and others to ignore completely!

There are a couple of things going on here - all men look at porn. If they say they don't, they are lying. So it's not logical to be upset by the fact that he looks at other naked women. You may as well hope for humans to not breathe.

BUT a lot of men are jerks about the way they do it, the amount that they do, or the way they treat YOU outside of porn. Porn that accents or augments a healthy relationship isn't a problem. If he's viewing porn INSTEAD of having healthy sex with you, then it's absolutely a problem. It's up to you to decide where that line is and up to him to be respectful of you. If you like watching it together, great! If you don't like porn, then he should be discreet about it and not throw it in your face. He shouldn't view it while you're around or leave his masturbatory leavings (lube, tissues, etc) around on the desk or wherever. He should know that porn is not reality - not all cocks are huge, not all women like to be spit on or hammered away at like a robot, not all women like to be choked or played with roughly, etc. If he knows the difference, then it's not a problem. If the only sex he can have is selfish and/or brutal or disrespects your desires, then it's a problem.

But in most of these situations the porn itself isn't the problem. But it can hide bad attitudes or emotional laziness or lack of respect.

If you spend some time with the ideas above and unpacking what you think is going on in your specific situation, then perhaps it'll help reduce the feelings of rejection that you are struggling with. Only you can say if he's right for you or if the porn is the issue. But it's terrific that you're asking the right question and seeking input!

As a female this is great and I agree with 99% of it. I don't think A LOT of men are jerks about it. There are some that are and some that are not. You need to find out where you fit into his porn and IF it that part is where you want you want it to be. The best advise is to communicate with him. All things can be fixed or at least understood with communication.