1. You make the call: Is Captain Kirk finally getting head from an original 1960s Klingon, or is this just an unfortunate makeup job?
2. " Uh, hi Honey...you're home early I see... So, uh...what's going on here is...this pizza delivery guy and I were playing Twister when an ACTUAL twister blew through the house...yes, right through the house! It tore all of our clothes off. So...this isn't how it looks...really."
3. Behind every beautiful woman there is... some dude with a hard on.
4. "You had your fun and here's your souvenir panties...now get out of here and let me wash my shame away."
5. "Coming to this manicure and cunnilingus spa was a good idea, Julie. Tomorrow I'll treat for lunch."
6. How to sign "Come fuck me" to your hearing impaired lover.
7. Just seconds after hearing the key turn in the lock she remembered that this wasn't her husband's bowling night after all.
8. Some couples just belong together...perhaps not in civilized society...but together.
9. How to tell your boyfriend is an alien...The date stamp on your nude photos imply a whole lot of missing time episodes.
10."Helloooooooo kitty!"