Thread: [Fictional Stories - ENF] Curse Karma College
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Old 01-31-2015, 05:17 PM
MickGesitt MickGesitt is offline
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I liked it.

I didn't really know what to expect when you said this chapter was going to be 'harder' but I think your latest installment was great. I've always felt that a proper story should escalate and get more intense as it goes on. You started off with a stripping and if the next step in your eyes is sexual acts then that's perfectly fine.

To be honest, your 'hard' section was a great deal softer than some of the stuff that I've read on this board. You weren't very graphic and mostly skipped through the acts themselves by having Brencker avert his eyes. So you don't have anything to worry about in that regard.

You need to decide what kind of story you want to write and what aspect you want to focus on. Do you want to concentrate on the actual stripping like inertianine said and emphasize the tension with a slow strip or do you want to center the story around sexual acts and putting the girls in increasingly erotic situations as it goes on. It is possible to balance both if you build up to the acts properly.

Both of your chapters were excellently written with proper set up, changes of POV to explain character motivations and included quality detail where it was needed. So whatever direction you decide to take this story in, I'll be eagerly reading along and enjoying every minute of it.
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