Quote:
Originally Posted by amf85
Fantastic. I'm a huge fan of redheads, in Silver you created the perfect character. Looking forward to more of both of them. 
Which brings me to...more thoughts. While two beauties are certainly better than one, what (for me) brings out the "whole greater than sum of the parts" opinion requires that the two interact more. Here, Silver appears, has her part, then leaves before Parnell gets her turn. Both parts were great, but in future stories, to take it to the next level you might have them together either participating in, or at least sharing, the other's humiliation.
Additionally, you build up these stories fantastically, but then the climactic portion happens pretty fast, comparatively. Stretching it out some might help. It's a problem (how do you plausibly keep the situation going when any person would take steps to end it or escape given sufficient time?) I have too (though my primary problem is inability to finish any stories, which makes the other problems sorta moot), so it definitely jumps out at me.
Please take it as constructive criticism...you're definitely one of my current favorites here! Keep the stories coming |
So, upon further reflection, I think I've come up with some starters. And yes, I know I'm responding to myself.
The question is why would a character, if a wardrobe malfunction is happening slowly, not just leave? How do you keep them there, allowing time to each loss/mishap to have it's own section, and allow for multiple periods of embarrassment, exposure, and shame instead of just one condensed period?
2 answers: 1) the character prevents herself from leaving, or 2) something else prevents her from leaving. I know, vague and useless, so lets move on. For #1 the scenario almost always seems to be an attempt to reclaim the clothes the character has lost instead of simply cutting her losses. Tsk tsk, poor decision. Inevitably this just leads to more being lost. For #2 it can be more varied, including physical restraint, restraint in the form of a person of authority not allowing the character to leave (such as a boss saying they have to finish their work or a teacher not allowing absence), or simply that leaving is considered worse than staying, such as if the character left she would encounter even more people. For #2, I know you already do quite well in the post-malfunction portion with the spankings, which many (myself included) very much enjoy
Anyway, hope this is helping. It's actually helping me a lot to put these into words.