Quote:
Originally Posted by tardis_flyer
... Story... She laughed, but I knew the truth. I've never confronted any of them with the truth.
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Sorry for the long post, but it's interesting! I promise!!
Let's face it, we've all been cheated on by somebody and we've all cheated on somebody. It's just a part of life.
My experience was very similar to yours. Incredibly so. Here's what happened with me and it might help you think about your situation...
My girlfriend went away with co-workers for a long weekend. After she came back, she was a little different. We were at my place and after a very enjoyable session, she was asleep and I went to pick up my phone and check for texts, but it turned out I'd accidentally picked up hers as we had the same phone and this was around 1999 (phones were really basic and non customisable). I saw some text from a guy to her and curiosity got the better of me and I checked it. Now at this time, my Kanji was poor, so I couldn't really understand what it said, so I snapped a quick photo thinking I could translate it later. I totally forget about it and about a year later I was going through my computer and found the photo of the text. By then my Kanji was far better, so I was able to decipher it - she had a vacation romance. It left me with a dilemma - do I confront her about it or not?
Before I get to the answer, I will tell you that she asked me to get married about 3 months prior but I said no because we had plenty of time and were still young (especially her being 8 years younger than me).
I decided I was going to ask her about it the next time she came over. It didn't go well. She was a wreck because our relationship have moved into such a good area and things were so good for us, she couldn't understand why I would say anything about it a year later. She was right.
I never told her how I knew and she never suspected that I accidentally checked her phone. But suffice is to say the relationship was over. Well not quite, we continued on for about 3 months, but I decided to call it a day as I spoke that which shouldn't have been said.
We were always going to break up in my mind (It started as something fun that should never have turned serious), but I regret the way it ended. It wasn't worth it. I should have broken up with her and not told her about it. Instead I had to say something, and I assure you, it doesn't help. Surprisingly, we did stay friends and she even wanted to get back together around 2006 (that's a pretty amazing story for another time), but I'd moved on.
Thing is, I was a hypocrite. I was a player before I dated her for those two years and until I met my wife, so I should have known better - NEVER EVER check your partner's email/text etc unless you're willing to ruin the relationship. Because once you see it, you can never un-see it.
So Tardis you can do one of several things...
1. Forget about it. If you really love her and she really loves you, then delete the photos and move on... if you can.
2. Confront her about it, but do not mention the photos - you will be the bad guy if you do.
3. Divorce her and move on, but don't tell her it's about that trip. You're both young with no children I presume.
4. IF you're on this site, it means your interested in certain type of lifestyle with your wife/partner. If you're wife is being a nude-prude with you, but not with others... well, why is that?
Personally, I thank my lucky naked virgins that I said no to marriage with my ex because it means I was able to meet my wife.