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Old 10-02-2014, 10:22 PM
MickGesitt MickGesitt is offline
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I'm not going to bother translating this one. If you don't care about making it readable then why should I?

. << That's called a period. You use them to break up your thoughts into smaller things called 'sentences'. A period allows you to take a breath before you continue onward. Putting in random commas doesn't count as punctation. Try reading some of your writing out loud. Take a breath every time you see a .(period) or a ,(comma). You'll be lightheaded before long. If you call this punctuation I'm left wondering how you ever passed high school english class.

There's clearly no point in teaching you about grammar so let's move on. I managed to read your match but there was a glaring plot hole. Why did Brie Bella attack Nikki Bella? Your story takes place BEFORE SummerSlam. Nikki hasn't turned on Brie yet. You never stated that you'd moved the Brie/Stephane Match to an earlier show or changed the Brie/Nikki situation so basically Brie just attacked Nikki for no reason.

This story suffers from the same issues as your Pokemon story. A general lack of punctuation, lack of description and a lack of proper story structure.

I know this sounds mean. But you clearly don't listen to the people that are trying to help you get better. If you're not going to put any effort into making your work readable then no one is going to bother reading it.
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