Okay i'll reply to this the truth is you are not very good at writing stories there is no punctuation, it is rushed and to be honest the idea is okay but you just don't have the skills right now to perfect it. I'm just going to say this to you keep trying your best but if nobody replies don't spam it in other peoples threads, cause that ain't cool people work hard for there stories to be great and don't want people promoting there stories on his thread.
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