[bbgapril]

Last stop and then we'll check out. Champagne. Always a good idea. I like these two, but pick whichever you like. Two champagne flutes. No, you're not going to drink this delicious champagne out of your Batman jelly jar mugs. Because you're trying to impress her, not your friends from the He Man Woman Haters Club. Oh, don't drink all of the champagne. Save a little. Hold a tiny sip in your mouth when you kiss here there. The bubbles explode against her. Yeah, she'll like it. Wow! Ask her to do the same for you. Not too much and not too vigorously. It foams like crazy. No, I'm not going to tell you any details. That's private. You'll find out how it feels for yourself tonight.

Get in line. We're at the check out. They're all the same. Oh, pick another aisle. Quick. That's Virgil. He comments on every single thing in your cart. It'll take forever to get through and you're going to be cutting it close. I didn't plan on that little detour through the manager's office.

Here. Unload the cart while I look for....Oh, yes. Here they are. A box of Altoids and a little bag of red hots. What are they for? Besides the obvious answer of eating and freshening your breath, you mean? Remember what I told you about the bubbles in the champagne? Well, imagine a cooling sensation, or her mouth even warmer. Yeah, that's it. Pay for this stuff and you're ready to go. Have a great evening.

Oh, hand me that box of Spiral condoms. They're mine.