Hi boo. This is a well written story with excellent description, which is always a plus for me. While the timestop genre has been fairly well covered over the years it's always interesting to see someone else's perspective on it, as there are almost always some new ideas that come in and expand the timestop concept.
Since you stated an intent to make this a series, I do feel that in your effort to get all your thoughts out there on the page you have rushed the story a bit - it would have made a more enjoyable and tantalising reading experience (imo) if you'd perhaps stopped at removing the shorts in this first part, which would have left you more scope to increase your victims' exposure in each chapter, with more and more clothing being removed. Having gone all the way in the first chapter you'll either need to come up with some new and interesting scenarios for the denuding to take place in or else progressively increase the sexual content, which will move it further away from the original ENF concept; you may already have a plan on this.
For myself, I prefer to feel that any person in a story that's receiving the kind of life changing trauma and humiliation that Lindsay is be thoroughly deserving of it - having perhaps been an antagonist earlier in the plot - but that is personal preference on my part and shouldn't stop you writing what you want to write.
Once again I enjoyed the story on the whole and look forward to seeing what you do with any continuation. If this is your first story then I'm sure you'll develop into a truly excellent writer as you continue on and I look forward to reading anything else you put up in the future!
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