Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she wants the 12 clothes pegs back..
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year. You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
TRUE STORY
I go to an old time ballroom dancing group and last week a sweet old lady said to me "My beaver is sitting on that chair". Somewhat stunned I looked down and saw that it was a small soft toy beaver given to her by another couple who had just returned from a trip to Canada!
Haven't got any photos to add but for those who like something different have a look at this video from Dailymotion that I found recently. This lady has amazing muscle control and a great personality.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xka...agina-show_fun