[shiftyj]

Someday when I get around to it I'll exaggerate this and change the ending but:

I was at a party which broke up fairly early when the husband & wife hosts started fighting with each other. She had wanted a grown up dinner party, he had wanted something more in the nature of a kegger. As my buddy and I were making a discrete retreat on foot (we both lived in the complex) we noticed another party in full swing two doors down and we inserted ourselves into it. No one seemed to notice or mind.

My buddy eventually took off and I stayed around. The whole thing's a blur - half drunk, shooting the shit, flirting, then more drunk.

About 1:30am or so I realized I was the last man standing. I was about to walk home when two decently good looking girls came in. They were both in sweats, bottom and top so they were both a bit shapeless but they had nice faces. I realized I was the only person left at the party besides them, so thinking these were good odds I decided to stay.

They raided the liquor and we sat down in the dining room on the floor (I think the host had removed all the furniture) and started talking. They soon realized the "party" was just us three, and they were a bit pissed they'd missed the whole thing. I don't remember their names now of course, but the one in the blue sweats was clearly in charge and the grey one was not.

Blue mentioned that that was one of the worst parts of their jobs, getting off work too late for any fun. I asked what they did and they claimed to be strippers. They could tell I was skeptical, and Grey lifted up her shirt nonchalantly, and popped out a tit from her bra. She peeled off a plastic coating from her nipple, crinkled it up, and popped it in her mouth. She chewed it about twice and spit it across the room to bounce off a wall. It was probably the most un-erotic surprise boob sighting I've ever experienced.

For those not from my state we have a weird law. Nipples (and nethers) must be covered in so-called strip bars. Believe it or not the strippers get around the nipple rule by wearing clear plastic pasties- I don't know if they're press on or spray on or what, but they hide nothing. From a distance the only way you can tell if they even have them on is if the light hits just right or if you notice the nipple looks a bit smashed. It occurs to me this might be the most unbelievable part of this story but I swear it's true.

So, I considered the pasty spitting to be proof enough for me and asked if they weren't uncomfortable. Blue said they were very uncomfortable and she a lot of other girls just took their chances and didn't wear them. This led to them talking shop and honestly I was a bit drunk and passive by this moment, just listening to them go back and forth.

They soon devolved into arguing over who could do certain moves better. They took turns comparing notes and doing handstands and half-assed drunken cartwheels. I think they were doing it partially for my benefit.

Grey was upside down in a handstand when Blue yanked Grey's sweatshirt down over her head, leaving her just in a bra (and I really couldn't see much of that). She fell over from her handstand in a giggling pile and Blue pulled Grey's sweatpants and panties down. They wrestled a bit and I got a good look at full frontal and dorsal Grey before she was able to get her pants back up. I also got a look at Blue in just her red thong. I can say they definitely did both have bodies for stripping.

They were screaming and giggling of course, and just as the wrestling was getting good the apartment owner (I assume) yelled from upstairs to knock it off and get the hell out of his house - so we did.

On the front stoop they asked if I knew where we could continue partying. From a couple other comments they'd made I realized their definition of partying involved a helluva lot more chemicals than mine, and they were a lot more hardcore than I was. Playing it safe, plus I was pretty tired and drunk by now I said no, it was getting too late for me. I walked back to my apartment knowing that what I imagined could have happened was so much better than what probably would've.