[Nathaniel Keam]

Pokemon is a world of monsters and intriguing characters. It’s a world for the adventurers and the doers of the world. Today, a new generation of trainers begin their foray into this strange world. In the former house of Red, one trainer prepares to begin her travels…eventually.

“Wake up,”
“Go away, I’m sleepy.”
“If you don’t wake up all the Pokemon will be gone.”

Ashley snapped up and out of bed. What was that? This was the day she would begin her Pokemon journey. It would be the first time she left the quiet of Pallet Town. This was the journey she hadn’t stopped talking about, and now her mother was standing next to her bed with her arms crossed.

“You know I don’t want you to go, but you haven’t shut up about it for weeks, so get up. If you’re going to do something you’d better do it properly.”
“Yeah, okay,” Ashley said sulkily.

Ashley was an 18-year-old girl primed and ready for the world of Pokemon. Things had changed since the time of Red and Gold, however. Most of the male trainers had left Kanto. Kanto was a land where female trainers would enter the Pokemon world for the first time. Pokemon battles were now strip battles and women really did have to put everything on the line if they wanted to succeed.

There was nothing particularly remarkable about Ashley. Her black hair flowed down to her shoulders and her breasts were pretty average for girls her age. The only part of her body she really couldn’t stand was her backside. It stuck out painfully. She’d inherited her giant bubble butt from her mother; something she could never forgive her for.

Her first order of business was to find Professor Oak. He’d promised her a Pokemon for her to get started on her journey. It’s her first meeting with Professor Oak that we join her journey proper.

Professor Oak was an old man now. He wore a white lab coat and was known the world over as an authority on Pokemon. Trainers often sought him out for information on Pokemon and new phenomena. Ashley appeared at his lab dressed in a blue jacket with gold trim, a red and white trainer hat, green fingerless gloves, dark blue jeans with brown leather belt, and a pair of black and white sneakers.

“Professor Oak?”
“Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon. My name is Oak. People call me the Pokemon prof. This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokemon. For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself…I study Pokemon as a profession. First, what is your name?”
“Ashley…? You’ve seen me a hundred times. In fact, you’ve known me since I was born.”
“Right! So your name is Ashley. You’ve seen my grandson before. He’s been your rival since you were a baby. Erm, what is his name again?”
“I don’t have a rival and I don’t know who your grandson is.”
“Erm, what is his name again?”
“How can you not know what your grandson’s name is?”
“Erm, what is his name again?”
Ashley sighed, “Cockface. His name is Cockface.”
“That’s right! I remember now. His name is Cockface.”
“Ashley. Your very own Pokemon legend is about to unfold. A world of dreams and adventures with Pokemon awaits. Let’s go!”

Ashley waited and waited. Professor Oak continued to look back at her as if he was expecting something else to happen.

“Professor Oak? You were talking about a Pokemon for me?”
“Ah yes, here’s one I caught earlier. It’s not tame yet. It’s a Pikachu.”
“Yeah, great, can I go now?”
“I have a request for you. On the desk there is my invention, Pokedex. It automatically records data on Pokemon you’ve seen or caught. It’s a hi-tech encyclopaedia. Ashley. Take it with you. To make a complete guide on all Pokemon in the world, that was my dream. But I’m too old. I can’t do it. So I want you to fulfil my dream for me.”

Ashley looked over at the red device on the table and back at the clearly mental old man.

“How about no?”
“What? How can you do this, I gave you a Pokemon!”
“Red completed the damn Pokedex in the 1990s you senile old walnut. You completed your dream years ago, now can I just go now?”

Professor Oak licked his lips, attempting to draw a memory from somewhere. Ashley ignored his spiel and stalked off with her new electric mouse Pokemon. She was unsure whether Professor Oak was even a professor at all.

When she got outside she turned around and almost knocked a poor girl off her feet. She had straight red hair, which almost reached down to her butt. The girl had a kind face and apologised for getting in the way.

“Wait, is it Ashley?” the girl asked.

Ashley nodded.

“Hi, I live across the street from you. I’m Cockface’s sister. I was told to come here and tell you how everything works.”
“Go on,” said Ashley, who was inwardly confused as to how there really was someone called Cockface in the world.
“Professor Oak told me to tell you all this. All the male gym leaders in Kanto were replaced by female gym leaders from abroad. They left their Pokemon behind as gym Pokemon, which you’ll have to face. You need eight badges to progress to the Pokemon League at Indigo Plateau. If you make it that far, you’ll have to beat the all female Elite Four and the Pokemon League champion.”
“Eight badges. Elite Four. Pokemon League champion. Got it.”
“Every gym battle will have your Pokemon face off against however many Pokemon that gym leader has. The only goal is to strip your opponent down to their underwear. Your Pokemon are there to defend you. They can strip your opponent or you can get them yourself. Anything goes, so you’ll have to find out about how each gym leader prefers to fight before you go in. Anyway, I have to go now. Good luck on your journey!”

The girl inexplicably ran away after her explanation. Ashley remembered why she’d always wanted to leave Pallet Town. It was full of crazy rednecks with learning disorders. Checking everything was in her backpack, she turned towards the long grass of Route 1. It was time to begin the Pokemon Strip Battles!

To Be Continued…