I think you just might be approaching the point of no return if not already past it. I am a little uneasy with the whole subject coming up via text messages.
If it happens, lay some ground rules, and both of you stick to it. If the whole ordeal isn't what you fantasized it would be, or if it makes her too uncomfortable to continue, then you never approach the topic again, and you don't hold it over her head. Regardless, don't hold it over her head.
The fact that she wants to suck his dick before fully fucking him is good, and the rush to make it happen makes me think she just wants to get it over with. When changing the rules of your relationship, make the rules clear.
For example, wife and I were exploring playing with other men, and she wanted to stop because of the worry how someone other than us not playing safe and not telling us could affect us and our family. I agreed to stop, and we pulled all of our profiles and stopped looking, currently thinking of ways to explore the fantasy without bringing others into bed with us.
Regardless of what happens, good luck and please let us know what happens so if we gave you bad advice we can stop giving that same advice.
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