I have another tip.
Get the ratios between something happening and filling in the background information right. I've never liked stories where 75% of the story is taken up by background information and only background information. The characters are frozen in time whilst the writer is telling us all this stuff, and then the characters finally do something and it's all over in a few paragraphs.
Thankfully, I don't see too many of these around on this forum specifically, but I think it's important to let the action take over. It doesn't have to be the stripping itself, but the characters have to be interacting with the world around them, rather than the writer simply telling us everything whilst the characters are hanging around waiting for the narrator to shut up.
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