Not me, I'm afraid.
But I did know a girl one time who admitted to a very short 'courtship'.
In the late '90s, I was going out with a girl who lived with a bunch of student nurses. We had a saying: "Only three sure things in life: death, taxes and nurses!" Well, one of her house-mates lived up to that....
We all went out clubbing one Thursday night. Well, we went out before the club and, anyway, ended up going in to a club at around 11.30pm. Around 10 minutes later, one of the girls noticed that this friend was not with the group any more. After a 30 second search they found her about 10 yards away, kissing some guy.
"Who's he?" my girlfriend asked.
"No-one we've ever seen before!" the others agreed.
Another 10 minutes later and she's vanished. After a less-frantic search this time, they establish that she's gone - and so has the dude.
Anyway, myself and my gf got tired of clubbing around 1.30am and got a taxi back to her place. She was joking with me in the cab that we might hear the sounds of shagging when we got back.
But, as it turned out, we didn't. My gf assumed the friend had either gone back to the guy's place or off to some party somewhere.
We got a surprise in the morning when we were woken by footsteps on the stairs and the front door shutting. My gf looked out the window and spotted the mystery guy walking down the path and away.
She got up and headed downstairs for a gossip with the friend, who had also surfaced.
"Were you, like, asleep when we came in last night?" my gf asked, trying to make sense of it.
Cue: a grin.
"Weeellll, to be honest with you, just as we heard you guys come in, we were finishing up for the third time..."
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