[abacus]

Two stories come to mind.

First is years ago when I was a boy, my dad had a big office reorganise. He had an office at home where he'd do all his reports and had everything in box files that were labelled up with the places he'd visited and written reports on. One of the box files said Mayfair etc. I can't remember exactly how old I was, but I was old enough to know that there was a porn mag called Mayfair and I thought that it couldn't possibly be porn in there. Could it? So, I sat, transfixed, in the middle of a big pile of boxes and opened the box to find a tennage boy's treasure trove. I will never ever forget getting an instant erection as my eyes wandered over these beautiful, big bushed beauties.

Over the months I would ferret a magazine away, take it to my room and masturbate as the nights went by until I needed to replace it and try another one. I found three or four box files of this stuff and was gleeful my dad appreciated the female form too. (Well, duh!)

I eventually got blasé about it and hid two or three on my shelves, under a pillow etc and of course my mum eventually discovered them and tutted. I am still not sure to this day whether she knew they were dad's. I honestly wonder whether this has left me too beguiled by perfection in the female form or whether it's just called being a bloke.