[shiftyj]

One summer a few years back, I was a broke college student and noticed a movie I'd been wanting to see had finally hit the dollar theater. The movie was Fifth Element so you can figure how long ago it was. Anyway, middle of the afternoon, 100+ degrees outside, nice and chilly and dark in the theater. I was in the middle towards the back, and there was a small gaggle of giggling girls, (college age of course I'm sure) up front in the middle. There were four of them, and we were the only ones in the theater. With maybe 5 minutes to go I was mentally just twiddling my thumbs and hoping they'd shut the hell up during the movie. They kept on, and on. . .
. . .laughing and giggling about something. I was starting to get a bit self-conscious wondering if they were laughing at me for something. As the lights dimmed for previews one of them quickly stood up, turned around to face me and pulled up her top with both hands. I could barely see a thing because of the lighting. My general impression was "perky and 18". As she stood there a second she looked down and to the side. Just as she must have realized her friends hadn't followed suit (and I realized that must have been the plan too), they pantsed her.

She screamed, they howled, and. . .this makes no sense but rather than pull her shorts up she made a hand-bra with one hand and covered her panties with the other and shuffle/ran to the end of their row and up the aisle, past me and to the exit. As she passed me I turned to watch and noticed she did have underwear on - red in fact. She never pulled her pants up or shirt back down, but as she turned the corner and passed behind a shoulder high divider I saw her head pitch forward followed by a thump and near-simultaneous "Ow!" and "sonofab*tch!" followed by even more insane laughter from her friends in front.

Without really thinking things through I got up and ran around the divider to see if she was ok. She was curled up on her side laughing and possibly crying, still with her shorts around her ankles, but her shirt had come down, covering at least as much as a swimsuit. I think I asked if she was ok or something like that. She looked and made a shooing wave and said something like, "I'm ok, go away, I'm going to kill those b*tches" and I smiled, gave her a thumbs up and went back to my seat. The laughter in front finally subsided, and just after previews ended and the movie began she went back and sat with her friends. More giggling, but it finally stopped for most of the movie.

So, anytime Fifth Element comes up I can't help but remember that I definitely got my $1's worth.. .