I would tell her
I would talk with her and tell her that you know about her and the friend. If she is seeing him on the side that can have very serious implications for your relationship also. Since it excites you that she may be doing it, it is better to have it out in the open and be honest with eachother. The benefit is you can tell her she can do it with your permission and you can arrange to be there to see it in person.
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