[Irish drunkard]

Last summer, I found myself at a small town out-of-the-way McDs for a quick lunch. Right behind me is this frazzled, dare I say trashy, young mother with 3 kids, none of them more than 6 years of age. She's wearing a strapless maxi dress (which itself is an instant head-turner for me) and is obviously braless under it (a bonus when it does turn my head). This poor girl has an almost complete lack of control over these precocious little brats, one of whom is a barely walking toddler. A few minutes later, she's trying to get her brood settled in to a table (and not a booth), and while helping the middle child get a straw into a drink, I can't help but watch the toddler reaching up and grabbing the top of mommy's dress.

You see where this is going right? I get my food (ordered to go), but now I gotta find a way to stick around, you know, just to See What Happens Next.

The only complete sentence she seems capable of saying is, "Quit it!" but the words are falling on deaf ears. Interestingly, she's not actually doing anything about the toddler's grabby little hand. After a while, I can only stuff so many napkins into the bag. At almost the exact moment that I decide there's not going to be anything to see here, it happens. The toddler yanks down the top of mommy's dress, revealing a fantastic C-D cup breast. I'll never forget it; neither how dark her areola was, but how nicely it was framed by her bikini tanline. She was reaching over the table and both hands were full, so she couldn't cover right up. Thing was, the toddler hadn't let go of mommy's dress, so when she did try to pull it back up, it wasn't so easy. She finally got the tot to let go and covered up as our eyes locked. She shot me a look of 'what the hell are you looking at'. Time for me to leave anyway.