I like a number of other posters think you have two choices to make:
1. Confront her with your suspicion and tell her about your fantasy.
2. Catch them in the act, then confront her privately.
Reading through your posts, it sounds to me like you'd prefer the second option. To do this, you'll need to arrange for them to be in the same place (sounds like your home is a safe bet). Make sure that you're invitation is nonchalant (PS3 playing and beers for instance) and that you don't make a big deal of it to your lady. Once he's arrived feign a crisis at work, or some other reason to be gone for several hours. For that to be successful you'll need to emphasize that your friend should stay and give some sort of an idea of how long you'll be gone. Like, "Oh, they effed something up at the office and need me to help handle it, it's gonna take at least 2 hours to sort this out."
Giving a time span is critical because this will allow them to feel confident conducting their tryst without being discovered. Above all, your deception must be believable! If not, they suspect what you're up to and "behave." As for catching them, as other members have suggested, you should setup a spy cam. I'd recommend setting one up in both your bedroom and your living room (anyplace with a couch or extra bed). As for hardware, I'm no tech expert, but I'm sure that there are many helpful websites or members with recommendations.
Before choosing either action, I highly recommend that you consider the outcomes. Regardless of how the situation shakes down you need to focus on where you want this to go. Too often, we focus on the path there but don't know what to do at the destination. If you want this tryst to continue you'll need to set some boundaries and ground rules. This is something that you need to sort out first. Ideally, you should contact some other likeminded fellows to help you with your decision. If it was me, I'd figure out exactly what I would want to express if I either wanted her to cease or continue fooling around.
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