I guess what I am curious about is if your intent is to maintain the opportunities AND the mystery or just the opportunities. What I mean by that is ... it is clear that the possibilities and the unknown are exciting to you but it is unclear what involvement they have with each other. So do you just let whatever happen and leave it at that? Or in your case, do you keep creating opportunities for her to be intimate with him?
If you are interested in having your wife expose her breasts to another man then tell her about it. You could just say that you have this developing fantasy ever since you overheard her talk about your mate and then talk about it. If it excites you to think about another man fondling and sucking on your wife's breasts then let her know and see where it goes. That might be the time to talk about what has happened already and that you were orchestrating the time alone to fuel your fantasy. At least she is sharing in your fantasy and it can mean something to both of you.
I would imagine that if they are doing stuff in private then she could end up developing feelings and your relationship could suffer.
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