Lying half awake as Claire slept silently beside me, my brain replayed the sight of her pulling her knickers down over and over again. Even if the evening were to end right here, it was a vision that would be in my scrapbook forever. The more I thought of those few seconds, the more I began to question her motives for doing it. It would have been far easier to put her nightie on first, so I had to wonder exactly why she chose to do what she did. I finally arrived at the conclusion that my own nakedness had somehow placed her under pressure, and she had felt the need to reciprocate. The decision to let me have a quick look at her bottom was perhaps her limit, beyond which she was not prepared to go.
As I felt myself finally ready to drift off too, I resolved to at least try to persuade Claire to push her limit a little further in the morning.
It was Claire who actually woke me, slipping out of bed at somewhere around seven. I was able to watch her, playing dead in the hope of seeing something indiscreet. I did manage to see her nightie ride right up the back of her thighs as she rose, but it somehow managed to keep her bottom just about covered. She threw on a dressing gown and left me both alone and disappointed.
The smell of warm toast drifting upstairs eventually made me get up too, and I threw on my boxer shorts and joined her at the kitchen table.
‘I need to go into work for an hour this morning, so if you could get dressed in a minute’ she announced as soon as I sat down.
So there it was. Not a second to thank me for my restraint. Not a second given in appreciation of a little comfort. I hadn’t realised until then that her icyness woke up at exactly the same time as she did. I focused again. Whether her story was true or not, it was pretty convincing. Nevertheless I pursued it.
‘Work? On a Sunday?’
‘To check last nights update. The system’s fallen over the last two nights. Its my turn to check it’
'That’s a shame. I enjoyed last night’ I replied, giving her my best doleful look.
‘Yeah. It was all right I suppose’ she said in a monotone, her tiny face disappearing into yet another mug of tea.
And there it was again. Clearly the kindness I had shown her last night had been so intense that she had completely blocked it from her mind. Claire began to clear the breakfast dishes, so I gave her one last left jab to think about.
‘You won’t tell anyone at work about last night will you? I asked
‘Why?’ she snapped back, an octave higher than usual. ‘That’s meant to be something a girl says isn’t it?
‘Well I’m just a bit worried’ I began in my best quiver. ‘I know girls talk, and well…you got to see me last night. I just don’t want to be the talk of the office’
‘Don’t worry. I won’t say anything to the girls’
I smiled inwardly at her suggestion that she considered herself a member of the group.
‘Well it’s not like you have anything to worry about is it? I continued. ‘It’s all right for you. I’ve got nothing to tell anyone, even if I wanted to.’
‘Well that’s not quite true is it?’ she replied ‘You must have got an eyeful last night too. I hope you’re not saying you looked away?’
‘Well I was a gentleman last night wasn’t I?’ I reminded her ‘And anyway, that wasn’t the same thing at all. If you were ever to say anything about last night I’d never hear the last of it.’
‘Don’t worry . I’m not going to tell anyone. It’s not like I’m proud of it’
The room fell silent as the last word left her lips.
‘I didn’t mean it like that’ Claire stuttered. ‘I just meant I don’t want people to know that I can get a bit down sometimes’
It was clearly as close to an apology as I was ever likely to get.
‘I’m just saying it wasn’t really even, that’s all’ I said, trying to feign far greater hurt than I was actually feeling.
‘Look. I have to get ready for work. I’ve told you I won’t say anything and I mean it. Ok?’
I cast her an even more pathetic look and finished my tea. Claire was, for the first time since I met her, on the back foot, and I was enjoying it.
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