I'm working on some similar exhibitionism things for my wife as well. Our thinking overlaps considerably!
One thing I'm working on: Jeans/pants that have the crotch seam slit open. The pants should be tight enough to be form fitting but not so tight as to be "open" at casual glance. I'm hoping to take her out to dinner and dancing and have access to her wetness on the crowded dancefloor relatively unnoticed.
She might have to wear a long, untucked shirt or jacket to conceal her availablity when standing, dancing or walking but this presents other opportunities. Like something sheer under that.
The idea is to present her with the cover to *appear* respectable but to provide lots of opportunity for lewdness. She'll only go for such things if it's not blatantly exhibitionistic.
Good luck and keep us posted!!!
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