[osreb]

A elderly man was leaving a meeting at the church, and looking for his keys.
They were not in his pockets, and a quick search of the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly he realized he must have left them in the car.
Frantically, he headed for the parking lot.
His wife, had scolded him many times in the past for leaving the keys in the ignition.
His theory was that the ignition was the best place NOT to lose them. Her theory was that the car could be stolen.
As he ran from the doors of the church, he came to a terrifying conclusion.
Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
He immediately called the police, giving them the location and the make & model of the vehicle, and confessed that he had left the keys in the car.
Then he made the most difficult call of all. "Honey, I left the keys in the car, and it has been stolen.
There was a period of silence, and then he heard her voice, "I dropped you off this morning", she barked. Then it was his time to be silent. Embarrassed he said, "Well come and get me."
To which she replied, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

************************************************** *********************************

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table,

and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around,

In order to return to the restaurant to Retrieve her glasses.


All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.

He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive.

The more he chided her, The more agitated he became.


He just wouldn't let up for a single minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

As the woman got out of the Car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses,

the old geezer yelled to her,

" While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."