Thanks, and thank you for the feedback, torretxt. With the formatting, when I had this in a Word document, I put our screen names in bold. That at least distinguished from the rest of the lines of the story. However, this did not copy over when I posted here.
One of the things I wanted to retain was the feel of the instant messenger chat. It was also important to me, to show Jenna's lines in response to my narrative, which is why I didn't convert this into a more traditional story structure.
Actually, I think it reads more like an interactive fiction that Jenna is playing, and we are all watching the choices she makes and how it all unfolds.
But if there is a way to make this a more enjoyable read, while keeping the whole IM feel, I would be interested to try and improve.
|