suggestion
Love the story and the concept of having the two of you co-create a story from other people's suggestions. This of course is only my opinion but I think the format you chose to post in (like a play script or transcript in a very third person) detracted from what was a marvelous tale.
I'm not suggesting you necessarily change the format you use in the future but perhaps there might be a better way of relating this so that your story idea might "flow" better. Just a thought.
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