The Ape Escapade
“Ladies and gentlemen!” proclaimed Amelia Duchagne, gazing out over the rather fear-struck crowd.
“I know what I have next to me may seem menacing, but bear with me for a moment! As distinguished men and women of science, you have of course heard of Charles Darwins' theories, and I, Amelia Duchagne, have presented evidence in their support!”
She paused, giving the audience time to study a great ape, chained on the stage next to her. It seemed to be some kind of gorilla, although a very large one. Experts in the audience concluded it must be a female, but of some hitherto unknown, over-sized species.
“I have found a way to advance this creatures' evolution! By exposing it to magnetism, I can elevate its brain-waves to be similar to those of a human! Watch, and be astonished!”
With these words, Amelia Duchagne pulled a lever. The chains fell away from around the great ape, and for a moment it looked quite perplexed. Before it had time to cause any damage, though, Dr. Duchagne pulled another lever, and there was a great humming sound of electro-magnets being activated. The ape looked dumbfounded, and then gradually, some semblance of human intelligence poured into its eyes.
It gazed out over the crowd. Then it screeched in shock, and jumped in behind Amelia Duchagne, as if it were afraid!
“Lucy, don't hide.” said Dr. Duchagne, a little surprised at the ape's reaction. “There's nothing to be afraid of... what's that?”
She leaned down to listen to the chattering sounds the ape was making. It was fortunate, that she had studied the linguistic development of all primates known to man.
“You are ashamed because you are naked?” said Amelia Duchagne, a little surprised. “But... You are an ape, Lucy. You are always naked. What's that? Yes, I am a primate too. Um... No, I do not believe we wear the same size. Why do you... Lucy!”
The great ape picked up Amelia Duchagne. She screamed in panic as the monstrous creature lifted her overhead, and grabbed at her skirts. It was useless to try to fight the great gorilla's strength – there came a sudden tug, and Amelia's skirts were pulled over her head so that the entire dress was peeled off. Lucy let go, and she fell down on the stage dressed only in her corset and bloomers.
“Lucy! Give me my dress at once! Oh dear...”
The gorilla was not listening: She was busy trying to fit into the checkered dress, pulling it down over her own head. The garment was faring poorly, and Amelia was far too busy trying to cover her unmentionables to intervene. Eventually the ape succeeded – though the dress was already bursting at the seams.
“Th- there,” said Dr. Duchagne carefully, “Now you're fully dressed. No need to be scared...”
Lucy shook her head.
“What are you missing?”
The gorilla pointed at her head meaningfully, and advanced on Amelia Duchagne.
“Wh- whatever are you meaning, Lucy? A hat? I'm not wearing a hat. Please, Lucy, all I'm wearing is... Oh dear. They're not a hat, Lucy!” she said, gripping her bloomers with both hands so tightly that her knuckles whitened. It was no use.
The gorilla yanked the white bloomers off her to place them on its head, coquettishly arranging them, while Amelia Duchagne blushed crimson and covered her groin with her hands as best she could, squirming while the audience watched.
“Bad Lucy! Bad! Give them back! Please?”
Lucy shook her head, crossing her arms. It became too much for Dr. Duchagne – so hot with shame that she could power a steam engine herself, she ran hurriedly across the stage. She didn't get far, though, before she tripped on Lucy's chains. The audience gasped as she landed awkwardly, displaying her naked bottom to everyone who had eyes.
In response, an old man stood up applauding.
“A quite convincing demonstration, wouldn't you say? Lucy behaves like a woman, and Amelia like a baboon! Bravo!”
“Oh dear...”
|