Weirdos From Another Planet: The Sequel
It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon. Ted and Ned had been on Earth for less than a day, but they were enjoying themselves immensely. Partly because their mission was going well so far, but also because of a piece of advice they had overheard from their previous subject, Ms. Langford at the library.
“This 'ice cream sundae' is delicious.”
“You said it, Ned. I wish they had such treats on our home plan- ouch! In our home country.”
“Yes, indeed, we come from a different nation.”
“But still from Earth.”
“Obviously.”
They hunched down over their ice cream sundaes suspiciously, but nobody seemed to have caught Ted's mistake. The little diner remained as quiet as it had been before: There were few customers, and the two aliens had strategically placed themselves far away from the high school students in one corner, and the pair of policemen in the other. The only one who seemed to have noticed anything odd was the young waitress walking towards their table.
“Can I get you gentlemen anything else?”
Ted and Ned both looked up at her. She was older than the high school students, though not by much: A blond girl with bubblegum in her mouth. For a woman, they noted, she was rather tall, with long legs and an athletic build. Her hair was long and straight, held in place by a headband, and her work-clothes seemed to fit her a little poorly: The blue skirt ended above her knees, so that all of her white stockings could be seen, and her white T-shirt looked pretty tight. If not for the black apron she wore above it, one would probably see the outlines of her bra quite plainly.
“We would like some... coffee.”
“Yes. Coffee.”
“Be right with ya.”
She headed for the counter. Right as she turned her back on them, they leaned together.
“We should have paid attention before. Did you see the Soft Fabric wrapped about her hips?”
“I did. What of that black thing? Do you suppose it is some type of armor?”
“We shall have to find out. Here, use the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator, but be careful.”
Ted nodded, taking the strange remote-control like device from his friend and hiding it under the table, just in time for the waitress to return with two steaming hot cups of coffee. They thanked her, and lifted up the cups to sample the dark liquid as she turned away from them. Carefully, Ted pressed the “unhook” button.
The waitress suddenly shivered a little, and straightened her back. She turned around, looking behind her, but there wasn't anyone there. Hesitantly she put a hand on her back – somehow, her bra had come unhooked. She blushed a little, and set her tray down on the counter. Discreetly she stepped in behind a tall tray rack, fiddling with the clasp of her bra while trying to look unaffected by the event.
She swallowed, biting her tongue as she tried to get the bra back on, but it was almost impossible – it was as if it had a life of its own, snaking away from her touch. She didn't have time to work on it for long.
“Miss!”
“Coming!” she said, a slight blush on her face as she walked towards the two policemen. She walked about halfway before she stopped, puzzled at a strange sensation. The bra was... gliding downwards. She touched her shoulders instinctively, pretending to brush something away – the shoulder-straps weren't there! Somehow her bra had become strapless, and now gravity was slowly pulling it downwards with each step.
“Miss!”
She hurried her pace, consciously avoiding leaning down at the table. “Can I help you?”
“We'd like some more cherry pie, miss. And may I say, you make a damn fine cup of coffee!”
“Th- thank you. It'll be right out.”
She hurried back towards the kitchen – by now her bra was on her stomach, and she could feel her breasts bouncing with every step.
“Two cherry pies. Oh, and could someone cover for me in the diner for a second? I need to visit the ladies' room.”
Both of her co-workers shook their heads. “Sorry, Shelly. We need to get ready for the lunch rush.”
Swallowing, she turned around to head back into the diner, tugging a little at her escaping bra – or at least, tugging at the area where it had been before. It wasn't anymore. Had it fallen out somehow? She looked around, and there it was: Right on the floor behind the counter. It was in a crumpled heap, but she recognized the pink fabric. How had it managed to slip out of her clothes like that? And what had happened to the straps? She couldn't help but hug her chest a little, feeling uneasy.
Well, there wasn't any time to put it on again – the policemen were waiting. She pushed it to the side with her foot so nobody would step on it, grabbed the pot of coffee and headed for her customers. No need to worry, she told herself – nothing illegal about not wearing a bra. Besides, with the apron, it's not like they'd be able to tell anyway. She nodded to herself: The apron was doing a more than adequate job. It was strange, but it wasn't a crisis situation. All she had to do was try not to think about it. Think about something else, like kittens. Her cat back home was having kittens – would she be able to take care of them? She certainly hoped so...
Just like that, her train of thought was interrupted. She felt her foot catch on something, and she tripped, falling forwards so that the coffee pot flew out of her hands, smashing against the floor!
Back at their table, Ned slapped Ted on the wrist. “Careful! You know we must make sure nobody gets hurt!”
“I'm sorry. I pressed the wrong button.”
“Hurry up, before she realizes what happened!”
Ted nodded. Ned, meanwhile, glanced over to the waitress to see how she was doing; one of the policemen was helping her up.
“Are you okay, miss? That looked like a nasty fall.”
“I'm all right. I tripped on... something.” she said, looking back at the floor – there didn't seem to be anything to trip on. She was sure of it, though. Something had caught around her ankles, but she couldn't figure out what it might be – there was nothing there.
“Well, good thing the coffee didn't hit anyone.” said the policeman sympathetically.
“What? Uh, yes. I'm so sorry! I'll go clean it up right away!”
“It's all right. Accidents happen.”
Shelly hurried back towards the counter, putting on another pot of coffee and then disappearing into the kitchen. She was gone for a little while, during which time Ted and Ned curiously inspected the policemen, but concluded that there was nothing interesting about them. Presently Shelly returned, carrying a dustpan and a brush. She leaned over, carefully sweeping the glass into the pan.
It was curious. What could she possibly have tripped on? It had felt like... like something textile. Like panties, actually. She froze up. Was she still wearing her panties? Of course she was. Right?
A cold breeze in her nether regions told her that no, in fact she wasn't. She stood up straight at once, blushing almost feverishly. No panties – and the way that she had been bending over... She turned around, trying to look casual. Surely nobody had seen anything?
Two girls in the group of high school kids were giggling, and a young man was looking extremely awkward. It... it didn't have to mean anything, did it? All three of them were avoiding eye contact with her, but perhaps they were just shy or something. Right?
“Miss?” asked one of the policemen, “Weren't you going to clean this up?”
“O- of course!” Shelly answered, and stepped around the puddle of coffee so that nobody was behind her when she bent down. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the teenagers – they had leaned over, and the girls were whispering frantically to the entire group. She strained her ears, trying to hear them, but it was no use. Her heart was racing – how much had they seen?
She got up, carrying the dustpan to the kitchen and getting rid of all the glass. Bringing out a mop and bucket, her head was spinning with strange thoughts. Had she forgotten to put on panties this morning? No, she couldn't have – but how could they just fall off? Had the elastic just broken all of a sudden? She felt hot and cold all at once as she mopped up the coffee on the floor before the two policemen, intently aware of the fact that she had no underwear on whatsoever. It didn't take long before the floor was clean, or at least clean enough.
“Um, done. I apologize again, I have no idea how I could be so clumsy.”
“It's quite all right. Now how about those pies?”
“I'm sure they'll be done in a minute. As will your coffee. Again, I'm-”
Suddenly she felt something move at the back of her neck. She reached for it instinctively, trying to figure out what it was – just as her fingers touched it, she discovered it was the knot of her apron. It came undone, and she tried to catch it – but too late: The apron neatly folded away from her chest, and then fell off entirely. Both of the policemen stared.
“Um, I'll- be right back-” she stammered, and half-ran into the kitchen. Her tight T-shirt left very little to the imagination, and since she wasn't wearing a bra she knew exactly what the men had been looking at. She shivered, with fear and with a twinge of excitement – and couldn't help but wonder if they had liked what they saw.
“I'msorrybutIreallyhavetogo” she spat at one of her co-workers and disappeared into the staff bathroom, locking the door.
Out in the diner, Ned and Ted watched the apron where it lay in a crumpled heap. Ted was about to press “Store” to make it vanish, but his companion stopped him, for the two policemen were still looking at it. One of them spoke.
“Bill, right me if I'm wrong – but did she just untie her apron like that for no reason?”
“It sure looked like it. She fumbled a bit with the knot, and then it just kinda... fell off.”
“Did you, uh, catch a glimpse...?”
“Yeah. Wow.”
“Wow's the word.”
There was a moment of silence between the two men, during which they just stared into space. They were interrupted when another waitress brought them their pie and coffee with a polite nod – she picked up the apron and put it on a hanger, from which it surreptitiously vanished as soon as she turned her back.
Shelly looked at herself in the mirror. It had to be a dream or something – she had not just flashed her breasts to a pair of officers, had she? And... had she flashed something else to those high schoolers? She had to make sure. Standing in front of the mirror she lifted her skirt a little, and sure enough, she could see much more than she had hoped to see.
“This is crazy,” she said to herself, shaking her head. “Wake up, Shelly. Wake up.”
She leaned down over the sink and turned on the water, gathering some in her cupped hands and splashing it over her face. “Wake up,” she told herself, “Wake up.”
She didn't wake up. Instead she jumped as someone suddenly knocked on the door, and the water cupped in her hands missed its mark. She looked at her reflection, horrified. “Oh no, oh no, oh no...”
“Shelly! Come out! The lunch rush will be starting soon, we need you!”
“Uh, I can't!”
“What do you mean, you can't? Hurry up in there. Five minutes at most, ya hear me?”
“O- okay. Shit, shit, shit...” she added to herself, tearing out paper towels from the dispenser and wiping them frantically all over her breasts. It wasn't working – the fabric was completely soaked. How could she have been so clumsy? Not only had the water managed to splash precisely on her boobs and nowhere else – it was also ice cold, and she could see the effect it had on her nipples.
She looked around the room desperately, but there was nothing else to wear. Of course there wasn't, it was just a staff bathroom. Her best chance was to simply don the apron again. She unlocked the door, veritably flying out of the room and back into the kitchen.
“Linda! Where's my apron?”
“I put it on the hanger out in the diner.”
She hurried her step, walking out once more among the customers – fortunately, the policemen had left. The teenagers and the two strange foreigners were still there though, and they were staring at her with great interest. She blushed, well aware of what they could see, and scanned the hangers to find her apron – it wasn't there!
“Shelly! Shelly!” she heard someone call, and turned her head over her shoulder. It was one of the teenage girls. “We'd like to pay.”
Swallowing, she walked to behind the counter as the little group got to their feet. They stepped up to approach her, and she could see where their gazes were falling. She blushed, trying to act nonchalant – it was her best chance to preserve some dignity.
“I have a question, though,” asked the girl, leaning closer to Shelly until she was almost whispering. “Do we still have to pay if you're not wearing any panties?”
Shelly's eyes widened and she bit her tongue. “Uh- of- of- um- of course not. On the house. Just... don't mention it to anyone, okay? Please?”
“Of course not. Oh, and Joey here would like to ask you out, just so you know. I guess he liked what he saw.”
Shelly couldn't help but make eye contact with Joey – he was eighteen, two years younger than herself, and he was blushing nearly as much as she was.
“I, uh, like what I'm seeing now too.” he said with a sheepish smile. “I mean, your face. Not your, uh...”
“Tits.” the girl added helpfully.
“Tits! Right. I like your tits. I mean I don't like your tits! I mean, they're nice but your ass is nicer. Face! I mean face!”
“Th- thanks-” Shelly sputtered, hugging her breasts with her arms now, well aware of how everyone was staring. “Um, thanks, but no thanks. On the date. Maybe some other time.”
“Oh... okay. Well, uh, bye then.”
He turned to leave, but the other teenagers were lingering behind, still looking at her expectantly. She glanced around the room, trying to distract herself, and her eyes fell on the two strangers, who were playing with some kind of machine. She vaguely heard one of them say “Now, Ted!”
“So...” said one of the girls finally, “We don't have to pay, then?”
“What? Uh, no. No, you're free to leave.”
They turned around to go, still talking amongst themselves, and Shelly breathed a sigh of relief. She had a moment of respite – maybe enough to borrow some clothes or something. Or call in sick. Yes, she could call in sick.
There was a loud crash behind her. All the teenagers spun around, looking at a white-faced Linda who was standing in the door to the kitchen. She had dropped a tray full of mugs.
“Shelly! You're not wearing any skirt!”
“What?”
Shelly looked down: Apparently she wasn't! Shocked, she pulled at the front of her T-shirt, trying desperately to cover herself.
“I don't know how this happened! I swear!” she shouted, trying to look for some way to run, but Linda blocked the exit to the kitchen.
“She dropped her skirt while she was talking to us?”
“Wow, she must be a lesbian or something.”
“A pretty desperate lesbian.”
“Yeah.”
Closing her eyes and clamping her hands over her crotch, Shelly whimpered slightly in panic. This couldn't possibly get worse.
Then she remembered the lunch rush.
---
“What a nice woman, Ted.”
“Indeed. I did not know it was customary that food is free if the host does not wear panties.”
“We shall have to remember this. Next time we eat, the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator could come in handy.”
“Indeed. May I use it again?”
“Of course, Ted.”
They walked down the street together, pleased with all they had seen and learned here on planet Earth.
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