[Meepo]

A bit of an experiment, this story deviates from my usual writing style.

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St. Barbara was a calm little community, somewhere in the American Midwest. It had always been a pleasant place to live, where nothing ever really happened – it had a high school with its proms, large corn fields full of crows, a little diner, and everything else one might expect to find in a sleepy town. Thus, if you were standing on the hill outside the city on a cold July night, you wouldn't really expect to see anything of interest.

If you chose this particular July night, however, you would be wrong. Thick darkness lay about the city like a veil, but up in the skies there were a pair of lights: If you squinted, you would see that the lights belonged to a flying saucer. Surely you would be surprised, maybe even afraid – but before you'd have time to run anywhere, the two lights would begin to descend. Before long, you'd see two figures standing at the foot of the hill, looking around in awe.

“So this is Earth, huh? Are you sure, Tedozjigox?” said one of them.

“Hush! We must use our Earthling identities now. You will call me Ted.”

“Oh, right. And I'm...?”

“You're Ned. This small community is probably suspicious of outsiders, so be careful. Remember the mission.”

Ned and Ted nodded to each other. They appeared as two ordinary human males, save perhaps a slightly odd tinge to their skin and a weird look to their eyes. Ted wore a black pinstripe suit; Ned wore a gray pinstripe suit. As they stood overlooking St. Barbara, Ned pressed a button on his wrist-watch, and the flying saucer above them turned invisible.

“What now, Ted?”

“Now, we wait for day. Humans are diurnal creatures. When they wake up, we can begin to learn about their culture and sample their Soft Fabric.”

–

If you were to enter St. Barbara on a beautiful July morning, you would see a perfectly ordinary American town, albeit on this day preparing for celebrating the Fourth of July. Ted and Ned strolled through the town, taking in all the banners and signs with great interest and marveling at the local customs. Where they walked past, most took them for tourists – perhaps Japanese – although their formal outfits matched poorly with their excited, almost childish behavior.

“See, Ted! They eat dogs!”

“Curious. Shall we sample some?”

“Absolutely. Good sir, may we have two of your finest 'hot dogs'?”

Ted and Ned smiled politely at the vendor, walking down the street with their hot dogs in their hands. Before Ted had time to even taste his, however, he froze in place. He struck Ned so hard in the stomach, that the other dropped his food.

“Ted! That was not very nice.”

“Silence, Ned! Look!”

They both gazed in awe. Down the street walked a gorgeous young woman, dressed similarly to the aliens themselves. She wore a gray pant-suit which concealed most of her beautiful body, though her curvaceous hips were almost impossible to hide; her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail, and she wore half-moon shaped glasses. Click-click-click she hurried down the street in her black heels, walking over to the St. Barbara Public Library, and unlocking the door. Above it hung a banner, which read “Patriotic Exhibit!”

“Do you see what I see, Ned?”

“Oh my. Such perfection!”

“Shall we?”

“We shall.”

They walked up to the library door, following the woman inside. She was already busy, placing books on display – most of them were on American presidents. Ted and Ned nodded politely to her, and disappeared in behind a pair of bookshelves. They waited until she had turned away from them, and then Ned produced a peculiar object from his pocket. It looked rather like a remote control.

“Careful, Ned! The Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator is a powerful tool.”

Ned nodded solemnly to his colleague, peered out from between the bookshelf, and pointed it at the woman, pressing the “Undo” button. The woman's jacket popped open. It didn't seem as though she noticed anything – she was busy climbing a small step-ladder, and it was a rather warm day. She wore a white blouse underneath.

Now, Ned pressed the “Unzip” button. The zipper on the woman's pants slid down, but she didn't notice this either – she stretched, trying to reach a book on a tall top shelf, as her pants slid down little by little, revealing plain white panties. Ned pressed “Descent”, speeding up the process.

“Oh!” shouted the woman in surprise as her pants fell to around her ankles. Her legs were bare underneath, and quite well-shaped. She blinked in confusion and tried to lean down to pull them up, but it was difficult, standing as she was on the narrow step-ladder. It wobbled, and she fell!

“Ned! The human must not be harmed!” Ted whispered.

Quickly, Ned pressed “Suspend”. The woman's jacket hung in mid-air for a second, enough to straighten her up and lift her off the step-ladder. In the process, her shoes fell off her feet, and her pants dropped from around her ankles. She blinked a little – had she been hovering for a second? Blushing slightly, she looked around the library but couldn't see anyone. She swallowed, reaching for her pants.

They moved away. She blinked. Hesitantly, she took a step closer to them... and they moved away again! It was like in an old silent movie, except she wasn't chasing a hat, she was chasing her pants! Again she followed them – again they jumped out of her reach!

“Is there anyone there?” she asked, half in panic now.

“No!” responded Ned. The woman instantly became furious. “I don't know how you kids managed to do this, but this is a highly inappropriate prank to pull on someone! I demand you stop it this instant!”

In response, the pants slid away another few inches. The woman ran towards them, intending to pin them down by stepping on them – and she succeeded! “Hah! Now just to detach your fishing-line or whatnot, and I'll be calling your parents right this instant.”

She bent over, searching the pants for some line or thread that must have been attached to them. As she did so, her panties abruptly slid to around her knees! She jumped to her feet, fumbling to catch them but only managed to grope herself, looking rather silly. Hurriedly she bent over to pull them back up, but just then the pants moved again, pulled out from under her feet like a rug!

She landed on her back, her legs in the air – and her panties sailed off, flying through the air until they came to land on top of a lamp! Now she was blushing furiously, and covering her crotch with her hands, climbed to her feet. “Children!” she shouted, but her voice sounded less certain now. “I demand you stop this! I'll call the police!”

“Why does she assume we are children, Ted?”

“I do not know, Ned.”

The two men stepped out from their hiding-place. The librarian's eyes became wide as saucers when she saw two grown, elegant men in pinstripe suits where she had been expecting harmless kids. She blushed rosy-red, and hunching over, hurried in behind her desk. Below the waist, she was only wearing a pair of socks.

“G- gentlemen-” she stammered, “Wh- what is going on?”

“We do not know. We are merely a pair of normal human patrons here to read about the Fathering Founders. Ouch! Founding Fathers.”

“Indeed.”

With those words, the two men stepped over and picked up a pair of books at random, starting to read them with great interest. The librarian gaped in astonishment and was about to say something, but just then the door to the library opened! In stepped a teenage boy.

“Hi, Ms. Langford. I'm here to help out with the patriotic exhibit!”

“Oh? Oh. Oh! Oh...”

“What?”

“N- nothing, I just don't think now is the best time,” said Ms. Langford, self-conscious of the fact that her naked lower body was only hidden by a desk. If the kid so much as walked around it... Oh, and what if he spotted her pants? How couldn't he, they were right on the...
Ms. Langford stared in disbelief at where her pants had been a second earlier. They were gone.

“But, Ms. Langford! I'm getting leave from first period to help out! I don't want it to look like I'm skipping class!”

“Th- that's fine dear, I won't tell anyone-” said Ms. Langford, sweating. “Why don't you... go down to the diner and have yourself a nice ice cream sundae? I'll pay, just come here and- No, don't come here!”

“But I really want to help! Plus I want to ask your help with a paper I'm writing! Are you feeling all right, Ms. Langford?”

“P- peachy!” said the librarian with a smile so nervous that it almost looked crazy.

Suddenly, a quizzical look passed over the teenagers' expression as something caught his eye. He looked upwards, and Ms. Langford followed his gaze – he was looking at her panties, which were slowly sliding off the lamp where they had landed!

“Um! All right then!” she said rapidly, “Why don't you go collect all the books you can on, uh, Thomas Jefferson?”

“Right away, ma'am.” said the boy, and still looking curiously at the panties, he disappeared around a few bookshelves. Ms. Langston pressed herself against the desk, hoping he wouldn't catch a glimpse of her curvy, naked behind; it didn't seem like he did. Once he was gone, she turned once more to the strange men in the pinstripe suits.

“Listen, you two. I don't know what's happening here but... could you help me? I'd like my... underpants, please, if it's not too much trouble. Could you fetch them? Discreetly,” she added.

“Underpants? What underpants? Do you see any such things, Theodore?”

“Is my name Theodore?”

“According to this book, yes. See? Theodore 'Ted' Roosevelt.”

“How interesting. That must make you Neodore.”

“Gentlemen!” interrupted Ms. Langston, “Please! They're right there on the ceiling... lamp...”

She blinked. They had been there a moment before! The boy had been looking right at them! Where could they have gone? She looked around in panic – being caught without pants was bad enough, but to be entirely bottomless...

“Please! Theodore, and, uh... Neodore. Could either of you gentlemen help me? You've seen what a predicament I'm in!”

Ted and Ned put their books back on the shelf, nodded in unison, and walked out of the library without another word. Ms. Langston looked at them pleadingly – she hoped they had understood. If they could just walk down the street and buy her something to wear...

Ted and Ned, however, stopped immediately outside the door.

“That was a close call. We must be more careful.”

“Yes. But there is more soft fabric we must sample. The white fabric is different.”

“Let us use the window.”

They moved around to look in through a window. There was Ms. Langston, leaning over to look after the teenager, a little bit of her naked hip visible above the desk but nothing else.

“There is no need to take the outer garment. She seems fond of it.”

“Indeed.”

Ned pointed the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator at Ms. Langston, and pressed “Undo” once more. Now, the buttons of her blouse came undone as well, and she didn't notice this time either – she was too busy trying to keep track of the boy, who seemed to have vanished from her sight altogether. Hurrying before she noticed anything, Ned pressed the “Bisect” button, aiming for the sleeves of the blouse. It took great finesse to do so without harming the jacket, but he managed to cut slits in them from cuffs to collar.

Ms. Langston suddenly felt a crawling sensation all over her upper body. It tickled infernally and she hugged herself, wondering what was happening to her – then she saw it! Her blouse was sliding down her back, no longer attached to anything! She reached after it trying to catch it, but she missed, and it danced out to land on the floor behind her. Quickly she spun, to try to pounce on it and catch it – but something stopped her in the last minute!

“Ms. Langston?”

She spun around, hugging her jacket tightly together. The boy raised an eyebrow again, but it didn't seem like he noticed she wasn't wearing her blouse. She sighed, thanking her lucky stars that the boy was so inattentive – then again, all the naked skin he could see were her collarbones.

“I found a whole bunch of books, I think too many. Could you come with me and help me pick out the best ones?”

“No need, no need,” smiled Ms. Langston in panic, “Bring them all! Hurry up!”

“Uh, okay.”

He turned around, going back the way he had came. Ms. Langston waited until she couldn't see him anymore, then spun around to catch her blouse – but like the pants and panties before it, it was mysteriously gone! She swallowed, looking around: Was the library haunted or something? No, there must be a natural explanation. Perhaps those two men were Soviet spies? Maybe they had hypnotized her? Could it be some sort of weapon? Perhaps she should alert the FBI!

She didn't have time to get much further in her reasoning, before she felt something tickle her upper body again – this time in a much more intimate location. She hugged the jacket tightly around herself, but she could already feel what was wrong: Her bra strap had come undone, and it didn't seem like the shoulder straps were attached to anything either. Desperately, she squeezed her breasts with her arms, hoping they would hold the brassiere in place. They did.

Unfortunately, the kid was coming back. He slammed down a pile of books on the counter, and turned to Ms. Langston. She straightened her back, and tried to look presentable. Unfortunately, this included not squeezing her own boobs, and so she had to relax her grip. She felt the bra slip away, falling to the floor. Nervousness forced her to do something with her hands: She settled on buttoning the jacket back up, only to discover the buttons were gone. She hastily crossed her arms instead.

Ms. Langston's heart was racing. What was going on? She was standing face to face with a high school student, wearing nothing but an unbuttoned jacket and a pair of socks – and he was still completely oblivious!

“These are the books! Where should I put them?”

“Uh, put them over by the panties.”

“What?”

Ms. Langston mentally kicked herself. “Um, the shelf. Shelves. Over there. Those shelves. Put them there.”

The student nodded, and walked over to the shelf, obediently placing the books side by side on display. He was turned away from her, but they still weren't more than a few steps apart.

“Are you sure you're okay, Ms. Langston?”

“Yes, oh yes, I'm- I'm just a little naked. Tired! Tired.”

“If you say so,” said the student, beginning to climb the little step-ladder to place books on higher shelves. Ms. Langston froze: If he turned around now, he'd be able to see down behind the desk. Maybe not a great lot, but he'd be able to see something. Barely-contained panic overwhelmed her, and she decided to hurry away. She could go to the bathroom. Bathroom! Yes!

She stepped out from behind the desk, hurriedly making her way across the open floor to the staff bathrooms. Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough.

She heard a book drop to the floor behind her. Her entire body turned beetroot red, or at least that's what she felt like, and barely-contained panic turned into not-at-all-contained panic. She broke into a sprint, running as fast as she could to the staff bathroom, trying to forget about how much her naked butt-cheeks were bouncing and jiggling in plain view of the shocked student. She reached the door, crashing into it.

Locked! How could this be? This couldn't possibly be getting any worse! She turned around, looking for some way to escape, something to cover herself with... and noticed the student was gone. She exhaled in relief – maybe he had just gone back to class. Then she heard his voice outside, shouting at maximum volume.

“Ms. Langston is streaking in the library! She's almost completely naked! Hurry, guys! It's a patriotic exhibitionist!”

Her heart caught in her throat. It had gotten worse.

–

Ted and Ned, meanwhile, were inspecting the samples they had collected.

“How helpful of that lady to identify these items. So these are 'panties'.”

“So it appears. One wears them about the hips.”

“Fascinating. I wonder if there are many different kinds?”

“We shall have to find out. For our next collection, I want to handle the Soft Fabric Remote Manipulator. You have had your turn.”

“Of course, Ted.” said Ned, pressing the “Store” button again. The panties swirled into a miniature vortex, and disappeared.