[osreb]

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect by comedians.

Here are some examples:

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.