[osreb]

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v. To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire."

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend an hour and a half writing, then forget to take it with you to the store.

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips: color to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar: coloring only a tramp would wear.

Park (park) v/n. Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and aslide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquilizers. "

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.