Well, in my own life, I discovered early on that when I'm involved in a sexual situation another side of me, a whole different Gina, steps up and takes control. That Gina is not at all shy about expressing what she wants. I've been known to direct guys to masturbate for me beforehand so that I could be sure they weren't distracted by their own desires while pleasing me.
I know it's selfish and I admit it, but it's just who I am, sorry to say.
After sex, I'm a lot more mellow (usually) and most guys who know me in real life would absolutely freak if they knew what I was like in the bedroom!