Deciding on a Blowjob from a "Fifty Shades" wife
 

All right, I have a decision to make here -- my birthday is coming up in a couple of days, and I have to decide how to best celebrate it.

Background: I'm going to be 41, my wife is 39, two young children. Our sex life has been relatively good over the years when we have it, but for many years we've managed to not make it a priority for various reasons and excuses, to the point where it was a once or twice a month thing. I think a lot of it has been mutual lack of communicating what we want/need the of the other.

I've always been interested in dominating/seeing women in bondage etc, and she's always claimed to be submissive in the bedroom (quite strong and feminist in the rest of her life), and we've experimented with that on occasion, but I'm always a bit intimidated to really force something or to bore her with my desire to take time to tie her up really well.

She's also never been into oral, either way. She said she had a bad experience with her first partner, who had forced herself on her as a teenager, then tried to make her give a BJ. Not a good scene that. She said a few times that I'd have to get her really drunk enough to get an all-the-way BJ, but never happened. Once on my birthday a few years ago she sucked for a while pulling away before I came, and told me that was more than any other guy had gotten. A few times when I had her tied up I put myself in her mouth and she sucked and didn't object, but I was afraid to push that too far.

Well...a couple months ago she engrosses herself in a book (she reads a lot, and often that means I'm getting nothing while she's busy with it). This time she says I should be happy about what she's reading; I could even get some ideas! Turns out to be Fifty Shades of Grey, so I start reading it too. The next day she starts dropping serious hints that we should do some of the stuff from the book, and we start talking about kinky things. I never knew she wanted to have her hair pulled; that just wasn't something I thought of doing or that she or I'd like, as she doesn't like having her hair stroked or played with gently usually, but I grabbed it and pulled her head back to kiss her neck, and got an instant reaction that made it clear she was massively turned on. I think a key aspect of the book was the fact that we used it as an opening to communicate directly about desires and limits in ways we hadn't before. The example of a strong woman who isn't truly a life submissive, but can incorporate the feelings and acts, yet also have the power to say no when she needs to, is pretty powerful. Oh, and it doesn't hurt my case that one of the early things she insists on doing is giving him a full-on BJ.

That night, I spent some time tieing her up, whipping her harder than I had ever before (not to true pain, but closer to her level of tolerance), and fucking -- but in the heat of the excitement, I was having some trouble staying hard long enough for her to cum. Ended up using her vibrating dildo and got her off, twice apparently, so now it was my turn. I started talking dirty, saying "If I was going beyond your limits, I'd make you go down and suck me off all the way", which I've said before, but this time she said "well, tonight's about pushing limits". So I told her to do that, laid down, and she slowly kissed down my body and took me in her mouth. For someone without much experience, she gives an amazing blowjob (not that I have anything to compare to). She keeps at it, and when I finally explode in her mouth, she swallows it all. Wow! I'm sure for a lot of you this is nothing, but it's a big deal for me. Not something I expect all the time, or that she'll really come to enjoy, but a big breakthrough for us, and knowing that I can "make" her do it (with her having the option to say no) is pretty exciting, power to be used sparingly. Many other aspects of that night were a lot of fun too, and it's led to us having sex several times a week since, often just "vanilla", which is the most important thing.

So, now that the barrier's broken, I'm pretty sure I can be in for a real BJ. I have a couple of choices -- have it be her idea (at least pretend it's what she really wants to be doing to me!) and sit back and let her do all the work, or incorporate it into a BDSM event. Both are something I want at some point -- I love the idea of cuffing her hands behind her back, tieing up her breasts, making her kneel down and shoving my dick in her mouth, grabbing her hair to help things along. A month ago I wouldn't have thought that possible, but I now know it's really something she can not only handle, but wants on some level.

What do you think, guys (and girls)? Sorry for the overly long and possibly lame post, but it's kind of exciting to have a place to write about sex-life-changing experiences.

50 shades of grey
 

I thin I need to buy my wife a copy of that book.

My wife is on the third book in the trilogy. She shows me some passages, but tells me a lot. One of her first questions was "did you write this"?. She said most of the things in the book we have already done.

Sad to say, but my wife could use a copy as well :(

Related in a roundabout way...
 

Last week my wife was talking to some of her co-workers. They were talking about movies and such. One of the guys, who happens to be a black-belt, says he can't stand watching fight scenes because when you actually know something about fighting, it spoils the fun. Without missing a beat, my wife comes back with, "That's why I haven't bothered to read 'Fifty Shades of Gray'":D

My wife just read it. Did nothing for her. She likes to be a very active participant in any sex play. Nothing sub about her.

My wife has given me one blowjob and we have been married for over 10 years. I could tell she wasn't in to it so I just didn't press the issue. I wish there was something I could do. I love getting blown. I might have to check out this book and subtly drop a hint for her to read it.

My wifes reading it and enjoying it now:D Looking forward to the benefits she's started hinting at things

Well, I've heard mostly negative comments about the book. How it badly it's written, it's horrible representation of BDSM culture, and the generally disturbing nature of the characters involved. The woman is not so much a submissive than a doormat, and the man is a sadist with an Oedipus complex fixated on the woman (who happens to resemble his mother.)

My wife started reading it and quit about 150 pages into it. She's never been shy about blowjobs, but never into B&D. So not a turn on for her.