Nude Beach nightmare..
 

..you do the research.

You plan a vacation to a nude beach.

And when you get there...

...this is what you find.

Ahhhaaayyyyggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The woman on the left is the one that starred in the "Porkies" shower scene way back in the 70's. or '80's.

Klondike

HEY! Thats my wife!

Another fantasy shot to hell. :eek:

I know someone that hangs around Pats board ;)

ALL <---- Nude and clothing optional beaches are that way. Get use to it. I'm sure you and your significant other were the only 8s, or 9s there. If you want the 9s and 10s, break out the $$$ and go to the strip club.
Clothing optional and nude beaches are not about sex. Far from it. People are not there to show off for the lurkers.
I have hundreds of 'clothing optional' beach photos, but you can bet they won't get posted.
,
Don't need the grief from the lurkers.

Another Hero
 

There's always some hero out there who needs to defend nudie beaches/resorts, etc. as decidedly not about sex. And while there is a component to the places that's about freedom, there's not a mammal on Earth that's not predisposed to sexual thoughts and actions when genitals are exposed. (as you say) GET USED TO IT!

I agree with nudists that our culture is way too hung up on needing to bar people from exposing themselves, but to do so is to "expose yourself" to being viewed in a sexual manner .. So what? .. GET USED TO IT!

Also, in the defense of nudists, I don't see the pics here as a "nightmare scenario". Even the people who are truly unattractive on any level can be there without bothering me. But with an open mind, you can find something attractive about an awful lot of people, including those in these pics.

While you may not choose an over 50, 280 lb. woman as your ideal, I bet 4 out of 5 of you could toss one off to the pics of the fat chick if you knew nobody was watching! Variety is the spice of life and essential to me with sexuality to avoid boredom. When you've spent years collecting porn when you should be sleeping, another nude Playboy centerfold is hardly what's gonna make you wanna bust a nut.

I find the variety of women fascinating on nude beaches, though not ALWAYS arousing. But I'll gladly look past all the scary chicks and all the old retired dudes swinging their geriatric junk around in the sun for the chance to swing my own around and maybe see a hottie or two. But later on, when I'm floggin' the bishop, I might think about that big giant ass when I'm spewing my load.

But don't try to tell us nudie beaches ain't sexual! And if you have all these pics you're not going to share because you're better than us, then maybe you're in the wrong place. Or did you just come here to look at nudie beach pics for their non-sexual appeal, maybe hoping to see an old friend waving his Dugan around! .. Yeah, RIGHT!



DD
Happy Lurker

worse
 

naaahh... what's worse is when you get there and its all GUYS!!

Well, why not come to the beach in Feb? We'll talk about it then. I'm suire you won't be difficult to find. You'll be the dude that all the 'babes' are flocking around. Uh-Huh
See Ya http://www.littlebeachmaui.com/

wow

This chick is not a nightmare :(

She looks like a ~~~ dream ~~~ to me .

Oh well , - you know what they say -

" One man's dream is another man's nightmare " :)

Why worry about the lurkers? They never post and I'm sure many of them are wanking to these pics right now! LOL
Please post your photos, this great site is built on variety and we all have different tastes. My thought is if you don't like a thread, then don't look at or comment about it!!:D

Come on folks, lighten up. Osreb posts tons of great stuff and has a sense of humor too. I laughed too because I've been in the same situation at a local beach. I just hoped to see a few nice looking girls, but didn't see any some days. No worries, I don't begrudge anyone from being natural at the beach and I'm sure that Osreb doesn't either. I just always laughed at myself afterwards because of the effort that I had made to drive to the beach and then climb down and back up the hill, with not one memory to 'use' later. Laughable... That's what this site mostly is about (I think) - fun!

jbellen, please share your pics. We'll appreciate 'em.

I'm not so sure that the majority of viewers would, given the exchange above. They are all taken on the beach that I linked above, and most are not of the 7s, 8s, and 9s that might be expected. In fact, most are of those 'mature' persons that seem to frequent these types of beaches.
Sundays, here seems to bring out the younger, locals, here, hippie types, but they usually just dance around to the drums, do the fire dance thing, and do what ever younger persons do.
If you want to see the fire dance thing, just go to flickr, type in Little Beach Mekena, you'll get the idea.
As far as posting photos I have taken, there must be a few on this site from over the years, but sorry, not the younger set too much, and not very sexy.
But we'll see
Thanks for the request, it is appreciated.

Goot agree with you
 

Nudism may not be about sex, but there's no denying that the human body is designed to arouse the interest of the opposite sex (if you're hetero that is). Otherwise, since humans have not specific mating season, we'd never reproduce.

I think it be good thing if we (especially we here in America) would just get over the whole nudity thing and learn to enjoy looking at a naked body much in the same way that one might admire fine art or enjoy a good meal. It's part of life!

That a big playground for some.

You, sir, have never been in Côte d'Azur, France (Nice, St-Tropez, St-Juan, Antibes...it's all good)

The only nude beach around here (Toronto) is generally about 90% gay men, so for me, a 200lb woman is a pleasant diversion. The nightmare is the day when I show up and it is 99%, and I am the 1%. Also, if you bring attractive women to a nude beach and it is all guys, they are likely to be inhibited and keep their clothes on. But if there are nude fat chicks, your girl feels confident, because she says that if the fat chick can be naked, so can she. So overall, I say bring on the fat chicks, hopefully there will be a few hot ones mixed in.

jbellen - I know what you're saying. And I agree, I probably don't want to see the pics either.

There are 2 major nude beachs here in Fla, Haulover in Miami and Playalinda in Titusville. And while sometimes there are some real babes ( Sun Afternnons ) , usually it is way more gay guys and lurkers. But when there are good looking girls , you can bet, they are there wanting to be seen. And they'll throw you the wide open shot every chance they get.

Unfortunately, that's not too often. My favorite girl moved to Miami a while back. When I was down for a visit , we decided to check out Haulover beach, which we'd read so much about. She'd just turned 40 , but was still pretty damn hot looking. We rolled in , threw out the towels and she got buck ass nekid. She strolled to the water several times, came back and had me lube her up and returned to the water. After about an hour she announced that she was ready to go. In the car she told me she couldn't stand it when the guys spent more time looking at guys than at her ...LOL.

I like the look of this one though:-

https://forum.oneclickchicks.com/atta...3&d=1231211113

And your point! .. ??
 

And your point! .. ?? Did you have a point or is this reply just some kind of "sour g****s" jab because you didn't like what I said?

Like with any addiction, once you admit it, you're better off. Just admit you're a lurker perv too and we can all get back to combing the beaches and the 'net for spankfodder! No one is denying that there is MORE TO IT than pure perversity. But to lambaste anyone (here or on the beach) for being a lurker is an implied attempt to enumerate yourself as somehow "better" than said lurkers. I've sen your other posts (very nice ones, I might add). You sir, are a LURKER! Welcome to the club.

It cracks me up that husbands take their wives to nude beaches, then get a 'tude when anyone checks them out! They're the same kids that took their new football out to the park, just so they could show their friends, then NOT let them play with it. The thrill comes from broadcasting to the world that "It's mine and YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!" as the goods are intentionally waved under the noses of others. It's the same FuckedInTheHead mentality that causes a girl to dance on the pool table in fishnets and a mini, then ask the bouncer to throw any guys out that leer at her. If you can't share your toys, STAY HOME!

DD
Happy LurkerPerv

Glad you liked my posts, but I thought Lurkers just Lurk, not post??
Can you explain the difference in a contributer (Poster) and a Lurker?
Perhaps I should just be a 'Lurker' on those threads too?

Seems like there's some confusion over the term "lurker", as there's two definitions, so let me help clarify:

1. Lurker (Real life): Guy at a nude beach (for example), who's just there to ogle others for sexual gratification.
2. Lurker (OCC): Member who never posts.

Is that about right? DiskoDaddy seems to be talking about definition 1, while jbellen is talking about definition 2.

Fango

Thank You, does that mean I can still post on those treads? (tongue in cheek here)
I promise not to look when I'm on an 'optional' beach

You know discussions like this are dangerous on a forum and decent and friendly as the venerable Oneclickchicks.
After all we are all here to look at noody pics and vids. We are here to be pervs and not members of a debating club.

But sometimes debate around our perrvy habits can be constructive.

For this reason I say the following:
there is a difference between being a perv on a message board like OCC and being a perv in public.

For this reason I take offense with the following:

My wife and I like to go to nude beaches. We've been to a number at various locations around the world, have nudist friends (not swingers) and have talked to other beach goers. I think I can be fairly sure that Most men don't take my wife to a nude beach. They go with their wife.Nude beach goers are fairly liberal and liberated people. On a personal note my wife is not some sort of new toy of mine that "other kids" can play with. My wife is her own person.

We go to a nude beach for the same reason we go to a textile beach. Or to the movies or a football game or a restaurant. To relax and enjoy ourselves. We are there for our pleasure not yours.

If you check my wife out, that's one thing - but if you ogle her - expect her to shit on you.

Sorry if I get a bit techy about this - but it's guys with that kind of attitude that ruin it for us and others. By all means "check people out" but remember to be respectful at a nude beach - just as you would on a public beach. It's a good way to ensure that nude beaches will survive and you won't get a punch in the head from my Missus.

Good Health

I hear some guys are into that kind of thing. LOL

Rude vs. Pervy
 

By no means am I condoning rude behavior, on a nudie beach or anywhere else. But it becomes a fine line when discussing nudie beaches. Is a guy being rude if you catch him surreptitiously trying catch a glimpse of your wife's hooha as he passes by? Some would say yes; others, no. What about if he makes a 2nd pass a little while later? Many of you would label that guy a "lurker" and enumerate yourselves as superior to him, having some "squatters rights" to the nudie beach, as if bringing your own eye candy is your ticket to legitimacy on the sacred, self-proclaimed "Members Only" beach.

As I said before, we can't escape the basic mammalian truth that exposed genitals equals arousal. I get your point that it would be nice to be able to go to a beach where it didn't matter whether you're clothed or not. I think that's the Utopian fantasy some of you have about nudie beaches. It's like blaming a scorpion for stinging you .. he's a SCORPION! Conversely, we are mammals and males and that means that we'll walk a mile to see a vagina we haven't seen before.

The thing about the public is it's so .. well .. PUBLIC. And that means you're going to deal with a very wide strata of personalities and intentions. Not that this is by any means the norm on nudie beaches, but I have seen exhibitionist couples who welcome the stares. I've even seen them tolerate men masturbating near them (ok, they were gay guys, up in the dunes, but so what; the point is still the same). Just like in a nightclub, the difference between a wonderful chance meeting and an uncomfortable advance lies in subtle chemistry. Often when a girl tells you about some rude jerk she met in a bar, she'd have loved the same behavior if she'd been ATTRACTED to him and wouldn't have had the bouncers throw him out for being "not hot".

If a guy (lurker if you must) is out there seeking exhibitionists, you have to admit it's kinda' hard to tell the difference between the naked couple wanting to be left alone vs. the couple looking for some degree of excitement. So just like in the nightclub, expect some attention; it comes with the territory, and don't condemn someone for showing interest, as long as he's being polite (whatever that looks like).

Of course, you can also expect that there are some "long distance lurkers" out there with 1,000 mm lenses, capturing your wife's likeness, either for their own spankfodder or to post on the 'net. And I don't think it's productive to blame them.

The fact is, the vision of a beautiful naked woman in public is a very rare and coveted thing. Those of us that don't live near a beach may go DECADES and not see such a thing. This vision has a mesmerizing power. Inadvertently or not, you are providing that vision. And since we can't castrate all men, the only TRUE hope you have of being nude on a beach and not being leered at is to find a SECLUDED beach where you can be nude ALONE. Just because you brought the toys doesn't mean you get to make the rules of the game. And please don't be offended at the idea that I'm reducing your wife to a "toy"; it's an analogy. I'm sure that underneath that gorgeous rack lies some depth and spirituality and complexity that she deserves recognition of. But to a stranger on the beach seeing her breasts for the first time, sir, you "brought the toys"!

For all our sakes, I wish, in a perfect world that there were two different kinds of nudie beaches, Pervy and Non-Pervy. But in reality, we have one world and one "public" and we have to coexist .. perv and non-perv on the same pieces of land. Personally, I'd get off on my wife being pervv'ed on (and have) within certain safe parameters. But I don't expect you to feel the same. But when your in the club, don't get mad if you're asked to dance and when you're on the nudie beach airing your 34Ds, don't get mad if someone seems to want to look at them. It is not impossible to find secluded beaches to be nude on if being leered at bothers you or the wife. But if you expect a "lurkerless" nudie beach, you're asking a scorpion not to be a scorpion!

BTW, if there were no lurkers on nudie beaches, this forum would be a decimated fraction of what it is and we'd all have less to think about and view on screen when flogging the bishop. So to my fellow "lurkers", the under-appreciated providers of quality spankfodder, I say THANK YOU!

DD

try the nudist beach area at Maspalomas - Gran Canaria - you name it you'll see it.

sandfly on voyeurweb does his pic shots from there.

Oh, so you've been to Baker Beach? Just kidding, it varies between 70/30 male to 90/10 male. But I suppose an even worse nightmare is to take your wife/GF to a nude beach, and discover that not only is it overwhelmingly male, but whereas almost all the men are nude, none of the women are, not even topless.....:eek:

well
 

go to south beach miami its only topless but wow hot chics all over and very tiny thongs.we are in jersey so go to sandy hook lot G its one of the better ones we have been to on w/e ther are hot ladys. rite above south beach is a nude beach sucked big time when we went mostly gay very few cpls. want to see odd people go to a nudist resort in usa they always suck and there are familys there most awkward places we have been and everyone is over friendly. we stayed at a big one near orlando yrs ago I hated it kids all over.only thing fun was there were ppl who lived there all yr and owned homes there was fun to watch them mow lawns and do chores nude but it sucked other wise.

This is my recollection of one of the nude beaches I've been to:

Haulover Beach - was there in 2000. Lots of couples. Different degrees of age and fitness, but not a lot of young couples. We were in our 30's at the time and very fit. Ironically, there were a number of fully naked women on the beach, by themselves, who looked like they might be strippers working on their tans. TOO fit, and with implants. Just a guess, obviously. There were women who showed up by themselves, or in twos, also. Not a lot of heavy people when we were there.

As far as ogling there, it's something we barely noticed, except for a couple of examples. We've been ogled by a couple - both male and female - and they did everything but come over and proposition us. We also had a really attractive woman come by herself and sit about 25 feet away. She looked a lot like Calista Flockhart, and wore street clothes. She sat facing us instead of the water. Weird. And she had large, fashionable sunglasses on. While I was distracted for a moment, she must have gotten undressed. When I turned back to her, she was completely naked, and appearing to be staring straight at us. Nice, full bush (it was 2000), and small breasts. And allover tan. Loved it.

Lots of gay guys on the beach. They appeared to be mostly at the south end. The beach is very short though. Some of them seemed to be walking around, a lot, checking for other guys. However, they did not bother straights.

The Horror
 

Back when I was in my 20's, I took my girlfriend to a popular nudist camp outside our city. It was her first time and she loved it. She was getting her Physical Ed degree and she was a hard body. We had a great day running around meeting younger couples, playing volleyball, having fun until...

We got cornered in the hot tub by a lady in her 60's or 70's.

As friendly as she was (and she wouldn't stop talking to us for an hour), she probably weighed 300lbs and was covered from the neck down with thick, purple varicose veins. She looked like a fat, pudding filled, fleshy road map. There wasn't one square inch on her wretched body that wasn't bulging with worm-like undergrowth. I was throwing up in my mouth while trying desperately not to be rude.

25+ years later and I still cannot shake how fugly she was.

Sounds sort of like the hot tub scene in About Schmidt, only worse.....

Just returned from Haulover
 

Just returned from Haulover last week. Many couples and singles of both sexes. In the years we have been visiting the North end was mostly gay and the south hetro. That seems to be changing and more mixing going on. There is some parading by the single guys but I'm not bothered nor is my wife. We are older and no longer 10's by any means. We just enjoy the freedom that nudity offers. We have brought several friends and introduced them to their first nude beach. The mix of body types seems to give comfort to first timers who expect to be the fattest or smallest.

We visit Desire in Cancun at least once a year to "play" but refrain from public displays at Haulover. Don't want to have the place close down if it gets out of hand.