The Weirdest thing up the hoo-ha
 

I've not started a thread for a while so thought I'd rekindle one of my all-time favourites.

What are the weirdest things you can think of for a lady to stuff up her va-jay-jay.

Rules are:
1. Must be vaginal, no anal insertions.
2. Must be full on weird. So no bananas, no cucumbers or whatever they're called in the US, no carrots - it's got to be WEIRD. Bottles are a no-go unless there's something special about it.
3. Need to be able to see the whole lady - or at least most of her - not tightly cropped boringness!

Of course, I'll start...

A hair dryer is certainly odd.

A squash is different, though she chose the boring end.

A pepper grinder? Though surely she has the set - could have tried both

Some sort of spikey dog toy - quite impressive

I'm giving this bottle an exception due to it not being a drinks bottle

I like this can of dove as it's a before and after :)

Got to love a bit of baking

Not impressive in size - but it certainly different!

Some of the things
 

I have had my wife fuck while I watch (part 1)

Some of the things
 

I have had my wife fuck while I watch (part 2)

Thanks for sharing. You win points for some of the creative items, but lose some for illegal items. Solid B+ overall :)

I think this is a spray can. But she primarily wins for the colour-coordination.

I don't think bats are *that* special - but this one is included as she's standing with it forming a third leg.

Apparently hair brushes are one of the most common early ad-hoc masturbatory aids. But common or not, I like the face on the first one, and the second one happened to be near it while going through the collection.

I know I said no bottles - but getting the *fat* end up this far is noteworthy I feel!

The second one added for the face and the fact it's next in the collection.

I do believe that's a cigar

I've got a few of the other end of the brush - but they're either watermarked or too close up for this thread and so would break the rules.

Final one intended for posterity. Pun intended.

Anyone for mallet's mallet?

That is one hell of a marrow

Nice to have a gear shifter where you can actually see it going in

Can be hard to tell the size of an eggplant or aubergine - but this is right in there - and a sneaky bit of bondage as a bonus.

mountain dew anyone?

Another toilet brush - but still the boring end!

Turkey baster? You can get pregnant from these things!

Wonder if the asparagus would turn her pee green?

just about enough woman to justify these hair straighteners

I know it's a bottle - bit its certainly different.

Wonder if she knows lubrication should be on the outside?

Impressive stretch around these oranges

Wiiiii - love a gamer chick

this can is almost hidden

Another hair brush - they're approaching normal now!

What a lot of pens

This one breaks the "how much woman" rule - but I think it's worth it

Not an impressive size, but it's cool all the same

Drinking out of the glass in her own pussy - certainly odd!

Is this a stool sample?

A bed post. Not new but a nice mini-series

Special sandwich
 

Had a friend who started a sandwich round between jobs. His very attractive wife used to help him make up the sandwiches.
Round his house one morning & they were making up the days wares to sell at lunchtime.
His wife picked up a cold cooked sausage to put into a sandwich & said I wonder who'll get this one today - then lifted her skirt , slid her panties to one side & inserted it into her vagina !! - then sliced it and placed it in the sandwich.

I often remind her by asking if she still makes the special sandwiches. She was 30 years younger then and blushes now

Def making an exception for this bottle!

Shoerely not