Women and men seeing things a bit differently
 

From my experience, women and men don’t see eye to eye on many things but one thing in particular is what men find sexy women don’t necessarily realize. For example, my ex wife dressed in ways I found sexy but she found “cute”. When we had days at the beach or pools with friends often times the women wore covers over their swimsuits and only stripped down to just their swimsuit when they were swimming. Not my wife. She would just be in her bikini all day. Most of the men would look at her and enjoy her body. I never minded. I thought she was gorgeous so why not let everyone have a look. She also did this with a towel after a shower. She was covered up but any man in the room would be very conscious of her near-nakedness.

One day I came home and heard discussion in the kitchen. I entered and found her with a plumber installing a new garbage disposal for us. She was standing there casually chatting with a towel around her. Later I mentioned good thing the towel didn’t slip and that maybe the guy was aroused and she acted like that was impossible. Her state of dress was totally nonsexual so why would he feel that way.

This is sort of specific and I have other instances I might share as they come to me but does anyone else find this to be the case? That often a woman doesn’t realize how sexually dressed she is and that men are ogling without her realizing?

Yeap...I can relate.

In the summer, my wife will often go braless with sheer clothing. She has longish nipples so she pokes pretty hard. She sees absolutely nothing "provocative" about it. But judging from the guys eyeballing her poking; it's clear guys don't feel the same way.

There is such a thing as "plausible deniability": they "know" but pretend they don't. But there are also cases where they are legitimately "none the wiser."

During the day in regular clothes, my wife thinks like a guy a lot...she is aware and notices more things than a guy would notice, and she dresses to make sure nothing is accidentally sexy.

But when it comes to pjs, she doesn't have a clue. Her favorite pjs are tight, clingy, very thin purple pjs that cover skin from her wrists to her waist to her neck, but she doesn't wear anything under them, so her breast shape is perfectly outlined, right down to every single bump on her puffy areolas (her nipples themselves are flat). She will wear these pjs around anyone!

She used to have tank top/shorts pjs that she would wear around anyone without underwear, and the bottoms were loose enough that everyone had seen her vulva at one time. Unfortunately, that pj set has become too small.

Her sister is the same way. I love family trips when the women are in their pjs...my wife, her mom, her sister, and her brother's wife. So many nipples and jiggle boobs every morning during breakfast. Drives me nuts!

Perhaps the perfect specific example was one camping trip we went on with her sister and her husband and kids. We never had kids so my wife always viewed these opportunities as our family time. For me it was mostly annoying because I did not get along with them at all. The one benefit was that her sister was attractive and I’d see her in pajamas, a bikini, etc.

This particular trip we were near a lake that we were going to spend the day at. My wife was last to the table for breakfast as she sleeps in. Out she came from our tent in a tight t shirt with no bra. Her sisters husband barely tried to hide the fact that he was ogling her large c cup tits through her shirt. After breakfast we switched to our swimsuits. My wife exited the tent in only a towel and asked that I apply sunblock as it’s easier before you put your suit on. She had done the front but wanted me to do her back. She let the towel unwrap from her body and held it in front of her while facing away. She stood there with her entire backside fully nude. I was a bit shocked as this was a new extreme. I decided it was best to act as if it was normal and I put the sunblock all over her back and down to her cheeks. I made sure to step aside so her sisters husband got a good look as I did the lower back making her ass jiggle. Then without rewrapping the towel she went back into the tent. She bent down but just not enough to see her pussy.

Later at the lake when we were alone I brought it up saying she had given a show and she scoffed at me saying “we’re all family”. I dropped it but was totally baffled that she would think that someone marrying her sister would make her completely nonsexualized to him. He was definitely looking and probably replays that sight in his head to this day.

I can relate to the posts above. My wife wears cheeky swimsuit bottoms that show nearly her entire ass. And when we have company she walks around in really short pajama shorts and sometimes braless but that’s rare. Regardless it’s obvious she has no panty lines and her cheeks pop out the bottom of her shorts. Anytime I’ve ever mentioned that people can see she shrugs it off with a “lucky them”. But she’s also taken the stance of “it’s just pajamas” or “it’s a swimsuit. Everyone’s wearing them” as if she’s oblivious men would find it sexual to see her nearly naked.

I have business dealings with a woman of a certain age. When we first met, I had to wait for her to be ready to see me. For ten minutes or so, I sat in the waiting area outside her office.

There was a bag siting on the floor a few feet in front of me. Quite without warning, the lady rushed past me. With her back towards me, she bent over and rumaged about in the bag.

At this stage, I hadn't even seen her face. She was wearing a nice skirt of a single bright colour. As she bent down, her rear end was pushed in my direction, pretty well straight into my face.

The skirt's material was of a weight and consistency such that it flopped evenly over her bum, so its round shape and crack was on show. There wasn't a trace of visible panty line.

I couldn't avoid thinking that the lady had a magnificant arse. Quite the most beautiful I'd ever seen. By the time I went in to meet her properly, I'd banished all thoughts of my first sight of her.

I am sure she was totally unaware of what she'd done and what a good first impression she'd made on me. I'll tell her about it one day, if I ever think that she'll see its funny side.

My wife can be silly modest some times, then at other times she flaunts herself shamelessly. I remember one time she wore a skirt that was short to an outdoor concert, we didn't bring chairs so we just spread out on the grass. I mentioned that her panties were very visible, she said "it's just underwear, it's not like anyone can see my pussy".

Another time she wore a knit top without a bra, with her small, B cup, boobs every time she leaned a little forward to tend to our toddler, her nipples were visible, didn't bother her at all. The dividing line was when she had our little girl and was breastfeeding, after that her attitude was, "they're just boobs for feeding my child", if a guy saw her nipples, family, friends or strangers, it was OK.

On a more nudist note but in the same spirit; the first time I brought my ex-wife to a nudist resort, she came with no intention being naked around other people; and chose a sundress - no underwear. Halfway during the day, she found her sundress to be a bit too impractical; so she decided to switch to a tank top. As I watched her change, I was puzzled as to why she wasn't comfortable being naked but was still willing to go bottomless. When I brought up my confusion, she simply replied: "Well no one can see anything anyway."
She was rationalizing that because she was hairy (at the time), it was pretty much visually the same as if she was wearing a bikini bottom. As a man that made no sense to me since her asscheeks were still out and a hairy pussy is still a pussy!

But to her that made total sense. As long as the pussy lips/labia weren't clearly visible, then it wasn't really naked. Ok then...

In a normal resort I would agree with you, but in a nudist resort with only nude poeple I think she make sense. My experince is that shaved pussies with visible labia gets much more attention from men (and women) than a full bush where you only see hair. Maybe there is a woman here that can confirm that?

Good point. My ex eventually starting shaving; liked the feeling, but at first was a bit challenged by the fact that "bottomless" now offered a very different visual for onlookers (with her lips visible under her short). She did get over it; but it took some adjustment.

I can relate to this. My wife is naturally pretty clueless/naive so she doesn’t realize things, especially sexually. She has been around family and friends in her thin loungewear with her nipples/areolas outlined and wedgie shorts. She has many more situations like this.

I have recently started dating someone seriously for the first time since my divorce. And something happened that made this thread pop into my head.

My new girlfriend and I went to Palm Springs with her best friend and her husband. We got along well which was a relief. We spent the afternoons by the pool. I was surprised when my girlfriend appeared with a revealing swimsuit. She’s Latina with c cup tits that were pouring out of a too-small top. Her bottoms rose high on her hips and the sides of her pussy showed at times and her whole ass was out. I’ve always enjoyed men checking out my lady so this was fine. And her friend was wearing similarly revealing swimsuit so I was just enjoying everything.

After an evening in the downtown area we returned home a little buzzed and continued drinking by the pool. My girlfriend decided to hop in but rather than go get her suit she pulled her top over her head revealing a sexy black bra. Her shorts hit the floor and she had on matching black panties. They weren’t a full thong but much of her cheeks showed. She hopped in and continued chatting with us from the water. When she got out she was cold and came over to where we all were and wrapped a towel around her shoulders. She stood there dripping wet with her panties clinging to her trimmed bush and pussy lips. It was a sexy sight and her friend’s husband took a few glances.

In our room later I mentioned it and she scoffed and said her underwear covers more than her swimsuit. I shrugged and said “fair enough”. Still despite that being true it was way more sexual than the swimsuit. Women and men just see things different.

The most obvious one on this is sure topless sunbathing on the beach. Years ago I was with my wife, then girlfriend, on a very busy beach on the island of Ios is Greece and pretty much every single woman their had their tits out, including my wife. Not a single one of those women even thought that every single man there was basically looking at every single pair of baps on show. There was one chap there, probably English, who was with a his girlfriend who had absolute beautiful, massive norks out on show right by a thoroughfare; i remember this clearly. She was just lying their tits out without a care in the world and hundreds or thousands of people filed past all day, whilst the boyfriend angrily looked at every man checking out his bird's tits - he knew!

Before we started going out my missus went on a mates holiday to Spain with another couple and a few unattached mates. Her and the other attached girl had their tits out at the beach and in front of her male friends, some of which we still see. "Poor x (mal friend), he didn't know where to look bless him" she's often said. She has no idea he knew exactly where to look - at your beautiful 22 year old tits! They just don't get it!

To be fair I think, although they don't get the sexuality bit, they think of it more as an embarrassment thing. Which is why my wife hasn't let her tits be enjoyed by our male friends more recently, or why my mother-in-law doesn't get hers out on holiday in front of her son-in-law (but will in front of her male friends).

Interesting thread and I’d love to see more stories where a woman does something arousing not realizing it is.

Not really a story but my wife’s friend is very handsy. A self proclaimed “hugger”. But it’s more than that. She’ll link her arm into mine while we’re walking and put her head on my shoulder. It’s just friendly affection but I enjoy the contact. The best is when she massages me unprompted. My wife doesn’t seem to think anything of it but I enjoy her friend having her hands all ove ent back. She’s also given me a hug at the beach. Having my arms around her nearly naked body is a memory I won’t soon forget.

My ex-wife was a "full-body hugger." And that carried over into social nudism. In the textile world there's clothing "in the way"; but when everyone is naked, bare parts are going to touch.
I would watch guys' faces as she "went in" and pressed her big tits against guys' chest or women's breasts. Or guys realizing their dick was pressed against her thigh/stomach. Amusing; to say the least.

She genuinely didn't really see the "erotic" connotation of the act; and felt she was just being friendly and warm. Needless to say, I feel very differently when a nudist woman gives me a full-body hug; it feels seductive. But...she did put a smile on many dudes' faces; so it's all good!

Not really a story but an observation.

This site is full of men who have some level of desire about seeing their wife with another man. But if you think of the average couple, whether a man plays the slow game or straight out asks his wife if she’d consider it, what percentage of women would ever actually do it?

No consider the same couples, and the woman says “I’d really like to watch you fuck my friend.” And now we are talking a much larger percentage.

You know, I've heard it said countless times that sex for men is physical and for women it's emotional-as if we think with our dicks and they think with their hearts. I think this is utter bullshit. I think that men can be just as emotional and romantic as women can be. And turn it round, women can look at sex as just a completely raw, physical, "fuck me" sort of thing as men can. It all depends on the individual. Proof of this is my current wife, with whom I had a very deep and meaningful romance. I took her virginity, then gave her 3 kids. She passed up many guys that she could have just fucked, but waited for me because I was somebody that really loved her for who she was, and didn't just want to get in her pants. Fast forward 3 kids later, she started fucking random guys for the sheer sexual thrill of it, and not only that, she didn't even know these guys from Adam.

I had a friend that used to tell me that men were sexual and women were romantic. I always told him that was just bullshit. I was on a forum at the time that had plenty of men and women on it, and I took a poll and asked people if they thought that was true. The great majority of people said that it all depended on the individual. I agreed. One woman even answered and said, "hell, I'm a woman, and I don't know ANY women that are romantic!". Not only do I agree, but I've actually know more men that are really romantic than women, and that get their hearts broken real hard over a breakup, a lot harder than any woman would. My wife used to be romantic, but that's all over with. In fact, I think being romantic for a lot of women is basically just a put-on.

Me, I'm more on the emotional/romantic side, but there's definitely a very physical side to me, too. I've been hurt so many times that I'm not sure I have any romanticism left though, unfortunately.

Btw, I'd really like to see a lot more threads like this.

My own 2 cents
 

Agree 100%

Not that I’ve not had a few one night stands in my day, but in general, I don’t really enjoy them due to the lack of any real emotional connection with the person.

I was devastated when I broke up with my wife 25 yrs and the preceding partner 8yrs.
I entered into my current relationship and found it very satisfying until a couple rather heated arguments at year 5 and she said things I could never unhear.

We discovered at a couples sexual workshop - that if she really wants great sex she would pick some complete stranger so she could really let loose.
I am the opposite I need someone to truly trust in order to really let loose.

Since the arguments (not related to the workshop) we have mended our partnership as far as living arrangements but after hearing her derogative sabotaging comments I have had little desire to perform sexually with her ever since and we are three years on… I’ve lost my trust.

I have lost the emotional connection we once shared… game over.
At this point We share a mortgage, period .

Man, I hear you, really. Some advice this workshop gave you-my wife was promiscuous enough already without some advice like that! One of her excuses for cheating on me (this was when our daughter was a baby and I found out about it years later) was, "I had never done anything like that before so I wanted to see what it was like" (since she lost her virginity to me-that's when she got her first STD and she said she had no idea where she got it-I had to be told because I had to be treated). I told her, "well, you never had robbed banks before either but that doesn't mean you should rob one to find out what it's like". Then in her second round of cheating 6 years she ago she got another STD and an abnormal pregnancy and kept running back to the same fuckup she got them from (in full view of and with the knowledge of the kids). I told her that it seemed like the scummier the guy was the more she couldn't resist hopping in bed with him.

Then she said she was sorry, we reconciled, and a few years later she moved in with her new bf she met while riding a bicycle. That was 3 years ago, and the kids live with me, although we're still legally married.

Like you, I've got 2 ex wives and the breakup with the second was really bad on me. This time, that's it. I can't fall in love with someone enough to uproot myself from my home country, give her 3 kids and still love someone else. I told her I don't love the kind of person she's become, but I damn sure couldn't love anyone else, or even have any feelings for them. I look at other women (you can tell by my albums that I do) but I still think they're all dogs compared to her. She knows that. I guess that's what true love is.

My father told me when I broke up with my 1st wife: "look, women can turn their emotions on and off like a light switch-they'll love you one day and the next day forget who in the hell you are." Boy, was he ever a prophet.

And I sure understand hearing things from her that you just can't unhear. It's terrible the things that people can say when they're mad-sometimes they mean them, sometimes they don't. It's really, really sad. That's why I think that people should apologize, mean it, forgive each other and move on. One thing I used to respect about my current wife is that she was always ready to say she was sorry, and so was I. Not anymore. She just recently blamed me for the fact that she cheated on me with these weirdos, saying she wasn't "happy". I told her that I guess she forgot all the years that I held her hand when she cried and had doubts and tried to lift her up, and these guys that give you STD's, an abnormal pregnancy and vandalize your father's car make you "happy"? I said, "wow, you sure have a weird idea of what happiness is".

So, what it boils down to is that women can divorce their genitals from their hearts just as much as men can, and maybe even more, especially if they're with these bad boy types.

Dang bro, that’s messed up.
Sorry to hear of your experience(s)
I guess the point is, both sexes can be as cold, or as warm as the other it’s not so cut and dry.
Cheers!!

Sometimes nudist women, after some time practicing non-sexual social nudity, can become "desensitized" to what can still be perceived in a sexual manner by others.
One "striking" example of this with my wife, was the time a gush of wind blew off her stuff from the end table next to our lounge chairs while at the resort. She jumps up, and gets on all fours to retrieve them before they fall off the patio. She never even thought of the fact that she was basically in a "doggy-style" position, ass in the air and pussy fully exposed, in front of a "very attentive" male audience. And it wouldn't be the first or last time she'd bend over right in front of someone; and think nothing of it. While I'm seeing guys smile while looking at her lol!

No matter how many women I’d have seen naked, I would be just as attentive as those other men. A woman on all fours is so raw and sexy. The day that becomes run of the mill for me, I’m in trouble. So glad women don’t get it.